The Legendary Cholesterol Death Bomb

First and foremost do not make a Legendary Cholesterol Death Bomb!
And if, God forbid you should find yourself with one, do not eat it!
That said, let's move on to the proper construction of The Legendary Cholesterol Death Bomb.

Ingredients:

• 2 Slices of bread: Texas toast is best since it has maximum surface area with minimum nutritional value.
• 8-12 pieces of bacon: The fattier the better.
• Mayonnaise: See above.
• Butter: Not margarine. Not "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter", even if you really can't. Only the real deal will do here.
• 2 Slices American cheese: Kraft is nice and creamy. But even cheap generic brand "cheese" will work.
• 2 Eggs, Large: Chicken eggs are standard, but hey, use what you want.

Instructions:

1. Put the bacon in a pan and start cooking it (I find medium heat works best). If you want to add some oil, hey, it's your funeral.
2. Place the two slices of bread in a toaster. Turn it on (the toaster, not the bread).
3. In a pan, add a tablespoon of butter and scramble up the eggs.
4. By now the bread should have completed the magical transformation into toast. Take it out of the toaster.
5. Butter both slices of toast.
6. Slather on a good thick layer of mayo onto one of the pieces of toast.
7. Once the bacon is done (or even better, almost but not quite done, nice and sloppy) pile it up on the recently-mayed piece of toast.
8. Cover with the slices of cheese.
9. Stick the scrambled eggs on top of the cheese.
10. Cap the sandwich off with the other slice of bread, butter side down.

There you have it, The Legendary Cholesterol Death Bomb. Now, do not eat it!