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This is a song I created after I party our house threw. I made The Mildly Offensive Lovesong as a joke, but it caught on for some reason. It's now a party staple, I guess because of the humor, the twang with which I sing it, the five chords used to play the song, and the fact I used the word "clam." Sadly enough, this is the most memorable song I have written, it required about 30 minutes of my life to make.

Sunday morning, after the great flood
I needed something, this time.....it's not bud
Been a long time, since I dipped my wick
My desperation is normal, I'm really not that sick
This song may be gross, some may find it icky
But I smile in the mirror when my face is sticky
I just need me a woman, don't have to be a looker
Or a rdie to South Congress for a five dollar hooker

"P" is for pink
"U" is for unique
The "S" is a smile
The other is for a Shiek
"Y" is a question, why do I sing my song?
I just need a woman, one that won't do me too wrong

It was dry in the morning, for that we were thankful
The house wasn't washed away, for that we had a bowlful
The party was great, but something just wasn't right
There was a shitload of Lone Star, and I drank way too much beer last night
First I thought it was hunger, so I bought me some migas
But the SPICY love sauce, just reminded me of chicas
Yes I need me a woman who likes strawberry jam
She can gimme that back rub while I play with that clam

"P" is for pink
"U" is for unique
The "S" is a smile
The other is for a Shiek
"Y" is a question, why do I sing my song?
I just need a woman, one that won't do me too wrong
Won't do me too wrong, I love this song, it's mildly offensive so sing along!
Whoooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooo!

It's like the "P" is for pink, the "U" is for unique, the two "S"'s are for smiles and Shieks, and the "Y" is cause I love them treats.......yeah, whoo choo.

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