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Surely there is a market somewhere - probably in the realms of what TVTropes calls "Bile fascination," for a television channel that shows nothing but wall-to-wall BOLLOCKS every single day with no respite.

After all, with programmes like the faeculent "The Only Way is Essex," featuring orange-skinned bimbos supergluing sequins to their mindges and getting not only viewers, but insufficiently damnatory reviews, and with the existence of a Justin Bieber concert DVD, and other such crocks, there MUST be a market. Hence, The Shite Channel.

Generally each day would go something like this...

6.00 pm - Opening. A badly made voiceover goes, "Bollocks?! THIS! IS! SHITE!" and an extreme close up of a sloppy turd appears on screen with the logo stamped into it.
6.01 pm - Bad News. A news programme in which everythiing wrong and depressing and horrible and bad about the world today is regaled to the viewers in a disarmingly cheerful fashion and with plenty of gory details.
6.30 pm - Unhappy Hour. Here we have an episode or two of a really awful game show that's not only so bad it's good but is strangely compelling. Scavengers and Ice Warriors are prime candidates, as is the truly execrable Wudja? Cudja? from 2001, which was too awful even for me.
7.30 pm - The Shit Parade. An original programme which basically showcases totally pants music videos of yesterday and today. Usually with someone snarky in between them taking the piss mercilessly. Basically, they're the sorts of music videos that only existed as a method of incorporating boobies as a way to sell a dire song. Europop is good for this, and the first request music video channels apparently used to be awash with this with people requesting certain songs hundreds of times an hour just because wir wollen die Titten sehen. Yeah.
8.00 pm - Drama DerriƩre. Failed, usually for good reason, drama and/or reality serials from yesteryear, brought up from the sewers and allowed to fulminate in the sunlight of prime time. Anything involving spoilt seppo teenagers would fit perfectly. This means you, Laguna Beach.
9.00 pm - Alleged Comedy. Repeats of floppy comedy programmes that nobody watched because they were about as funny as piles and that their creators would really rather forget about. French and Saunders' old shame "Let Them Eat Cake" would be perfect, among other things.
9.30 pm - Our Feature Defecation. It's a film! Basically we would work our way through IMDB's Bottom 250 systematically here. So if you've not seen Gigli, From Justin To Kelly, How She Move, Meet The Spartans, or Monster a-Go-Go, now is your chance.
11.00 pm - Youtube Roundup. 90 minutes of our snarky presenters passing comment on the latest videos of kittens falling over.
12.30 am - You Suck. Vicious panel game in which we invite Z-list celebrities on under false pretences just to shout abuse at them and make them look stupid. The winner is the first team to legitimately employ the phrase "arsecunting spunkgargler."
1.00 am - Late Night Fanservice. Viewers submit moving images of them all nekkid! It's like Hot Or Not, but on telly, and with a live phone in! Woohoo!
2.00 am - REALLY BIG EXPLOSIONS! Another original programme, this is basically collected and commented footage of stuff blowing up. Often in slow motion replay as well.
2.30 am - More Bad News. See above. The latest in misery and awfulness.
3.00 am - Closedown.

I think we can come up with more awful programmes to fill the daytime schedule. Repeats of barrel-scraping talk shows would fit the bill, usually involving pointing and laughing. To be fair I don't think we'd need to try too hard for this.

I think it would get a surprisingly large amount of viewers. Most mainstream channels are like this as is, they're just not as honest about it.

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