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"Ready the cannons!"

"The cannons are ready, sir,. May I ask what the commotion is about, sir?"

"We're under attack, my boy!"

"Under attack?! But who would be attacking us?"

"Why, son, none other than those damn Waffles!"

"The Waffles?! Surely it cannot be!"

"I'm afraid it is so. Everyone has been alerted. Cities are being evacuated. We must do our best, son!"


And so, the waffle invasion begain. Waffles rained down from the sky, there was no escape. The waffles fell at such great speeds that they crashed right through buildings. The great anti-waffle cannon, while destroying hundreds upon thousands of the nefarious waffles, eventually succumbed to the onslaught.


"Dr. von Syrup, I came as quickly as I could! You said you've developed something to rid us of the waffle invaders?"

"Why yes, Butter, my young assistant, I have developed the ultimate anti-waffle weapon! Surely to save us all!"

"Well, what is it?!"

Dr. von Syrup pulled the white curtain off of the here-to-now hidden 'ultimate weapon.'

"Why it's... it's... what is it?"

"This," the professor said, as he pointed to a large plastic lady filled with a translucent, dark brown substance, "is Jemima. Code name 'Aunt.'"

"So this is the mysterious 'Aunt' project!"

"Yes. All one has to do is simply--"

And with what was possibly the worst timing in the history of the known universe, a waffle came crashing down right onto Dr. von Syrup. He was killed instantly, along with the answer to humanity's crisis.


"So what does one dead human say to the other dead human?" A waffle husband asks his waffle wife.

"I dunno, what?"

"Nothing, because they're both dead!"

"Enough with the dead human jokes, OK? Let's see what's on TV."

A gray glow filled the great waffle room of the waffle house, accompanied with the sound of static.

"Hm. It probably wasn't the best idea to destroy all the humans, now was it, deary?"

"Probably not."

The waffle husband shut off the TV, tucked his waffle children into their waffle beds, and joined his waffle wife in their own waffle bed.

"Goodnight honey... Honey? Are you there?"

He turned on the waffle lamp and pulled back the waffle blanket. At the top of the waffle wife's perfectly round body was a decidedly human-mouth sized chunk of waffle missing from the waffle husband's waffle wife.

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