How do you deal with a bungler like this, Murray? I just don't get it. The guy's out on a routine creation assignment, and he ends up with a ball of dirt festering with half-mortal self-replicating homunculi. I mean, is it really that hard to do things the right way? We've all been through the training, you don't leave your trees out where the mudgrubbers can get to 'em. I mean, he honestly thought that he could pop out for lunch, just leave his stuff sitting out there, and he'd just tell his monkeys not to eat his fruit. I mean, he's lucky that they stopped where they did, but as it is, it could take 3 or 4 thousand years to kill these things off. The guy should be drummed out of the Elohim, I tells ya.

I mean, hey, don't get me wrong, mistakes happen, I remember my first job, I ended up with an 8-peckered walrus that sang opera, but I sure as heck never fed it any fruit of knowledge, and if I had, I would have had the good sense to run screaming to The Man instead of trying to cover it up by trying to pass a homonculus off as a beast of the field. I mean, this guy had the stones to curse 'em after he banished them from the worksite! He punished his homunculi for his screw-up! What's the point of that? They're doomed anyway, at this point. I don't even want to think about what it's going to be like for those poor bastards, half-conscious but plagued with the realization of their own mortality, able to conceptualize their deaths but not prevent them, endlessly searching for meaning in the universe, but unable to grasp enough of the big picture to put all the pieces together. It's like he accidentally made a big ol' ugly ball of suffering and blind ignorance. It makes me sick to think about it, I don't mind telling you.

I hear The Man has taken an interest, though. He's worried that these freaks might start tearing things up at some point. He's talking about trying to work with 'em, put some controls in place, but I think it's a waste of time. How do you redeem a situation that corrupt? These things will never be Elohim, doesn't matter what kind of fruit they eat, and they'll never be beasts of the field, not matter how stupid and degenerate they become, but you can't just kill 'em off, and you definitely can't let 'em out of their cage.

Yeah, I hear they're going to throw the book at him. I hear his case is going up to Judge Wasserman, yeah, the creative sentencing guy. I'll tell you what, man, if it was me sitting on the bench, I'd send him off to live in a little box for a while, think about what he's done, you know? Or I'd force the poor slob to inhabit the body of one of his little accidents, see what it's like for them, you know? Teach him a lesson about keeping track of his tools before they throw him in the hole. It's not like going to the Penitentiary's going to teach somebody like that any lessons, you know? Just all boredom and suspension of creative powers, you still get the omniscience, heck, by the time he gets out, he'll have all this remedial training, he'll probably end up better off than before he went in. It ain't going to help his monkeys any, but their days are numbered anyway, right? I'm telling you, Murray, it's a shame, a crying shame.

Warning! All quotes listed below are not verifiable. The courts of the Elohim maintain no authentication system or other version tracking. To correctly evaluate the following, please employ your favorite flavor of omnipotence, omniscience, or both. Please direct all questions to your nearest Qadowshim service representative.

(The Man): Is man found on the Earth, Yahveh?
(Yahveh): Man is not found on the Earth, Boss.

(overheard elsewhere)
Hey, Don, have you heard about the big meeting coming up? They just announced it over at Qodesh Square, apparently everyone is supposed to come. --- EVERYONE? --- Yeah, no kidding. Crazy talk, huh? I went and looked at the board later; the number is somewhere in the sextillions. I hope they have seating. --- Well, if everyone is supposed to come then The Man must be in charge, or what? --- Yeah, I suppose you're right. What in the eternal globes could it be...

Excerpt: Miqdash Transcript - Timestamp 131198925138:06:18971318
\type\ Historical entry; \subtype\ General announcement;
Today the Exalted Throne issued notice that a meeting of the Elohim will be convened beginning in 3 solar cycles (as pertaining to the Throne.) This announcement applies to all Elohim. Creative, supervisory, and dispatch assignments will be suspended for the duration, and temporal flows will be altered to compensate. All Elohim, regardless of age, rank, or assignment, were asked to attend this convocation. Gabriel has been asked to conduct the services and the Interior Celestial Ministry will handle all arrangements for Elohim with special needs.

(Lucifer): So, have you heard what is happening at the meeting? Big plans are in the works my friend, things that will change the way we operate for a long, long time. Your Creative Analysis Ministry is going to get a lot more work I hear.
(Uriel): Really? I haven't heard much, I've been out on assignment for the past 9 main cycles. It was a long assignment, but I think we got the kinks ironed out of the orbits in the Arba triad.
(Lucifer): Hey, good job my friend. That problem had been bothering the folks at Analysis Major for quite some time I've heard. So the deal is this, there is going to be a pretty crazy plan announced. If you want to, you can take a new assignment to a recently created planet, and the assignment is pure observation, no work or anything involved. And it's of indefinite length.
(Uriel): Sounds like a vacation.
(Lucifer): There's a catch. The assignment is as a mortal. Don't stare, you heard me right. Some of the Elohim want to go get bodies of flesh and bone and they are going to get the chance to do it.
(Uriel): That's unbelievable. No one has corporeal bodies...
(Lucifer): ...except for The Man.
(Uriel): But he's...he's Him!
(Lucifer): It looks like that is all going to change somehow, but there is more to the story. Evidently you get stripped of all your juice when you go down: no knowledge, creation, nothing. They even take your memory.
(Uriel): All of a sudden I like this idea a lot less. What are you getting at man?
(Lucifer): I can't say much more about it, but I have a way that is going to make this plan risk-free. Back me up at the meeting and you'll get your incarnation and all your toys back at the end. We'll be a match for The Man after this is all through.

Hey Murray, don't tell me you are buying this mess. You want to go grab yourself a piece of dirt? Go get real flesh and blood and wind up dying like that? You have got to be kidding me. I don't think any of this mess is gonna work, you know. Mr. Four Letter may have got himself all friendly-like with The Man, but don't you go all psycho on me now. Even the Lightbringer didn't buy into the whole plan, and he is all for crazy stunts. They at least need to modify the deal some, man. I'm telling ya, don't sign on just yet. Maybe they will approve Luce's deal and you will get your jazz back for sure then. Just for Qodesh sake don't blow a great future dude! You have potential! At least come with me to the rally tomorrow. Lucifer is going to speak about his changes and try to win some public backing. If we all get together we can make this work without all the risks, and everyone can breathe a little easier. I just can't stand the thought of you mucking around on a planet forever man...

(Yahveh): We have been down to the Earth and done all that thou has commanded.
(The Man): It is good.

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