The revolution was not televised. It was live streaming video, from an industry leader in content delivery, partnering with IBM to provide a turnkey streaming video solution. It was brought to you by Pepsi One and MTV. AT&T Broadband Customer Care Specialists put down their headsets and threw tickertape from the windows. CEOs, CFOs, and CTOs alike embraced and wept.

They began changing the names of cities - stadiums weren't enough anymore. IBM Bay. Phillip-Morris Francisco. Appletino. Mount Wal-Mart. Intel hired a naming firm to come up with new names for its holdings, since none of them could be copyrighted. Boston became "HistoriCity"™. New York City was officially renamed simply "NYC™". Texas was changed to Xas™. Marketing felt it would appeal to 20-somethings. McDonalds bought all of the Midwest, seceded from the union, and declared themselves "The McNation".

e-Business replaced normal business. e-commerce replaced commerce. consumption replaced leisure. To play golf, you first had to have the right equipment - a set of Nike AirGolf golf cleats, titanium/plutonium/graphite composite clubs, and so on. To work enough to afford all the right equipment logically excluded the possibility of actually USING the stuff you had spent all your hard-earned dollars on. Besides, who had time? Everyone was busy saving money for MORE and BETTER and FASTER.

The revolution was over, and the corporations had won a victory so complete that the consumers actually thought THEY were the ones winning the whole time.


The revolution is not over. It never started. We as denizens of this godforsaken realm can see that, and now the hope of the revolution lives on in the ruin of oh so many “internet start ups” and “eBusinesses”. It’s almost beautiful in a nihilistic way; the collapse of the corporate Internet makes way for the revolution. Yes, Gil Scott-Heron was right, the revolution will not be televised, It will be live. Ad serving firms and ridiculous online corporations collapsing to the dust from which they came is the sign, the mandate from heaven! Let’s go out. Let’s keep moving.

Alright, I'm only about 10% serious..

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