I was smoking a cigar
out back, probably 4:00 (give or take twenty minutes for my pothead
buddies) in the morning, and I looked down our yard, to the large wooden privacy fence. We have a flat apple tree
and a bunch of mint
planted there, in that generic was once a tree is now in a sack
wood chip stuff. And some other green crap (I come from a family of horticulturists
and farmers, but just don't give a fuck
about plants). I look down and scan the grounds of my castle
and decide that I might as well take a look down there, see what's growing
(and what died last year), blow some time before I finally go off to sleep.
Walking down, I decide to do the geek thing and start at the furtherest corner to maximize the efficency of my walk. I see some penny plants that haven't quite died, some assorted roses that seem to will themselves on despite neglect, little bushes that willl probably outlast the human race, and other stuff that has survived the gauntlet that is my backyard. Then I enter an area where strawberries and mint plants fight for dominance. I had also planted three or four dwarf evergreens back there, arranged in a semi-circle. I bought them to see if they would make good bonsai, but unfortunately, they turned out to be too large-needled and sparse, so I relegated them to the backyard.
As I was walking past the strawberries, I saw, bathed in slits weak light leaking through the fence and the warm moon above, a single pot plant, towering above the rest of the garden foliage. The strawberries and mints, which grow like weeds, had been cut back eariler this year so I could plant the little conifers. In the center of that half circle, I had thought I was going to put a rose or some other typical plant one finds in suburbia, but it seems the decision had already been made for me.
A huge, dense cannabis indica sat in the previously wood-chipped ground. It was so touchingly ironic, Chopin's Nocturne could be heard in my head. And this plant was a female, but it was much taller than any typical indoor grown pot plant, and when you got near, it had the distinctive resin smell, I could already see several buds, but I could tell just from looking at it that it would probably end up with twice as many buds.
I gazed at it in wonder, then I bent down and smelled at it. It was 100% bona fide, and I could only wonder how the damned thing got there. I have and will smoke weed, and I have also grown it a few times and seen tons of it growing (I said my family was full of horticulturists) but I would never plant one in my backyard. It looked as if it were no accident. I still don't believe in the pot fairy no matter what my friends tell me. I doubt that anyone I know would do something so stupid as this considering that I never look in my backyard.
I guess the shock must have been too much, because I took a final look at it, then I turned and went back in the house. I did the only sane thing that you could do, I let it grow until I could harvest it. I only wonder what the neighbor kid that mows my lawn thought of it.