The term True Self is used with respect to a person's identity: The Self. (In this writeup, I will use capital letters to refer to The Self and types of Self, even though that is not a common standard.)

We can think of many attributes of a person that identify them to us: choices, thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes, abilities, physical appearance, behavioral tendencies et cetera. We may also consider these attributes when we think of ourselves in relation to others.

The True Self is the actual Self. The True Self can be contrasted with the Self we want to be or the Self we want others to see (the False Self). If your sense of Self is the same as or close to your True Self, then you basically have a healthy sense of Self. If your Self image is not your True Self, you may have a tendency towards self-loathing.

If you present a False Self to others, it does not necessarily mean you have an unhealthy self image. For example, you may have a healthy sense of Self even if you consciously present a False Self to other people. For example, you may present a False Self during a job interview for the purpose of landing a job. That is, playing a role is different than attempting to become a role.

In some religious traditions, the notion of the True Self is integral to spirituality. To see the True Self is to see something bigger, deeper, more universal than ourselves. For instance, some Christians believe in the notion that our true will is God's will and that our True Selves are God-like or Christ-like. (Personally, I think this idea of the True Self is actually a False Self idea.)

Psychotherapists often refer to the notions of True and False Selves. For instance, Dr. Alice Miller often refers to the True Self in her works. For purposes of discussion about the True Self, Dr. Miller generally focuses on emotion and will. How we feel and what we want, figure prominently in our development as children and our relationships to our parents. (This is not to deny that other attributes of self-identity may be relevant in a relationship.)


Before you can believe in God, you have to believe in yourself.

I am beside myself.

I am somebody else.

I am trying to find out who.

I am trying to ensure that who I am is someone I can care for, and care about.

I feel more like I do now, than I did when I first got here.

If I understand Christianity correctly, it is sort of like we are all merely different flavors of Jesus.

Or at least that is what we have the potential to become, and a need to become.

My life began as a struggle, finally to become a mere challenge in learning to appreciate the particular flavor I was given;

A gift of what I am, and all I have experienced.

Not all of these were pleasant, but I have learned to accept my gifts, the unpleasant as well as the pleasant.

They are all part of that which is me.

It is not the bitter, nor is it the sweet, but it is the final outcome that matters.

Oppression and abuse may have molded what I am. But I can change that.

It may be a substantial part of what I am today, but there is still tomorrow.



I believe there are boundaries to how much we are permitted to hurt each other.

These boundaries are often not where we would choose them to be.

I cannot control how others deal with their boundaries, nor can I change them.

What I can do, is learn deal with my own.

I can search out the limits of peace and love, rather than forcing my will on those about me in pursuit of gain or pleasure.

I have observed the eventual results of both these approaches.

God willing, I will always chose the right.

Beyond this, I can only accept the pain when someone I love violates the boundary that is me.

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