Before you can believe in God, you have to believe in yourself.
I am beside myself.
I am somebody else.
I am trying to find out who.
I am trying to ensure that who I am is someone I can care for, and care about.
I feel more like I do now, than I did when I first got here.
If I understand Christianity correctly, it is sort of like we are all merely different flavors of Jesus.
Or at least that is what we have the potential to become, and a need to become.
My life began as a struggle, finally to become a mere challenge in learning to appreciate the particular flavor I was given;
A gift of what I am, and all I have experienced.
Not all of these were pleasant, but I have learned to accept my gifts, the unpleasant as well as the pleasant.
They are all part of that which is me.
It is not the bitter, nor is it the sweet, but it is the final outcome that matters.
Oppression and abuse may have molded what I am. But I can change that.
It may be a substantial part of what I am today, but there is still tomorrow.
I believe there are boundaries to how much we are permitted to hurt each other.
These boundaries are often not where we would choose them to be.
I cannot control how others deal with their boundaries, nor can I change them.
What I can do, is learn deal with my own.
I can search out the limits of peace and love, rather than forcing my will on those about me in pursuit of gain or pleasure.
I have observed the eventual results of both these approaches.
God willing, I will always chose the right.
Beyond this, I can only accept the pain when someone I love violates the boundary that is me.