It was the first day I wore slacks at work since the spring, for only now at the end of September is it possible to not have to wear shorts. My shorts, being uniform men's shorts, have room where I don't need it and not enough where I do, but believe me, the women's uniform dimensions aren't much better. And so, they are pretty snug. They're either snug or fall off of me, depending on whether I choose 32 or 34.

But the uniform slacks fit me like a policewoman's. Tight all the way to the cuffs. I can't really help this, as I have proportioned thighs and men, comparably, do not. For this reason, I wear large polo shirts instead of medium, which would fit normally, so as to cover a bit of the pants.

One of Sandi's customers came in on that day when she was out sick. He was a light skinned black male with a meticulously trimmed goatee. When I walked out with him to look over his car, he said, "You must be hittin' them eggs and grits, girl," like this is a normal thing to be exchanged between two strangers. At first I didn't know what he meant and asked a co-worker what the deal was. He told me it was because I have a "black girl's booty," and I have been told that before.

I tried to look at my own ass, and I didn't find it to be particularly large or pronounced posterior, but again, I wasn't looking for it to be either. In some ways getting this kind of attention gets to me, because I seem to only attract black dudes in this sense. And stupid ones at that. I mean, really, eggs and grits??? That's the best you can do?

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