(idea) by moJoe Thu Aug 03 2000 at 18:41:09
Recently my girlfriends' mother fell ill and has been bed ridden. She lives across the river in Vancouver, Washington, so she has loaned us her car for the month so that we can go visit her. Last night my girlfriend came to visit me at work; she parked the car around the corner and was only here for an hour. As it was late at night; I ignored her protests and insisted that I walk her to her car when she left. When we got to it, there, on the dented in hood, were boot prints left by the person who had jumped onto it to kick in the windshield.
I am a kicked-in-windshield virgin, and being new to this whole thing I was at a bit of a loss of what should be done. It was midnight, the car was un-driveable and I didn't want to get it towed until I knew where I would be towing it to have it fixed. After calling non-emergency and being transferred to the actual police department where I was prompted to leave a message, I called non-emergency back to ask them a few questions. I asked the lady if she knew whether it would be acceptable to leave the car in the "No parking 7AM to 6PM Mon-Fri" spot where it was parked because I couldn't really move it and I also didn't want to disturb anything on the hood. The person who did this actually left a perfect handprint on the hood and fingerprints on the roof and I was assuming that they'd want to take the prints. The Lady said and I quote:

"mmmmkay, well, if you are worried about the police wanting to fingerprint the car, mmm don't worry about that because they aren't going to. And yes, if you are parked there, yeah, mmmm, they are probably still going to ticket you; kay?"


So what she is saying is basically that the police are not going to come down and get the finger prints of the person who kicked in my windshield even though they are on the fucking hood plain as day BUT they will send a little Meter Monster by to give me a fucking ticket WHICH goes toward paying the salary of the same worthless assholes who just "don't wanna" come down and do their fucking job.
But wait, it gets even better! When the cops finally called my girlfriend back at the house, the guy kept asking which side the window was broken out on, it took my girlfriend 5 minutes to explain what the word "windshield" eluded to.

"Ohhh, windshield. mmmhmmm... So are you sure you didn't cut someone off or something; there are a lot of angry drivers out there."

was the wisdom that he offered her on the subject. That's it. Report taken, done; blame the victim and it's over with. The car is sitting in front of my work covered in fingerprints and there is a cop out there somewhere right now "busting" someone for going 60 in a 55 or not having current registration tags but they can't spare ten minutes of their precious time to sprinkle the magic dust on the hood, lift off the print with the magic paper and then run it through the magic fucking computer.

a-fucking-mazing.

So there it is guys, have at it. You can go out and kick in peoples windshields all night tonight, leave evidence all over the place and as long as no one sees you, you have apparently committed no crime in the eye's of the law. Try and tag a few cop cars as well; I'll be curious to see if they will care then.
I like it! 1 C!

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