i cannot express my feeling well.

you had a key-chain with a silver gorilla hanging on for your life.
you don't know why you never get a new key-chain but that funny gorilla one.
friends always make fun of your key chain, but you don't feel ashamed but rather feel proud of the gorilla.
that funny, funny silver gorilla.
you have spent most of your time with it. the gorilla has the keys you have to have to do daily routines.
start the ignition of your car.
open the door for the house.
even a key for your girlfriend's room.

suddenly, you realize that you have lost it when you jump on a crowded subway.
the subway's door has closed and the subway starts to run, heading to nowhere, carying tons of mindless people.
you feel lost. not sad, but lost.
no idea where to go or where to go back.

that's how i feel. well, kind of.
i'm not sad. i just feel some kind of emptiness on my heart or on my life.
i guess i have loved her.
so, i wish she will be happy.

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