In sweetness comes suffering
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There I go again, giving difficult answers to simple questions.
Is everything okay?
Everything is exactly what it is. Doesn't matter much whether or not I'm okay with it. To give approval of the existence of things is as vain and arrogant as to give permission for their existence.
Is this a sign of things to come?
Well everything is either a sign of things to come or a sign of things that have been. And they're all the same thing, all "happening" at the same "time" if you can expand your boundaries of those concepts. All in endless repetition. It's merely a matter of whether those signs can be deciphered or not. Like all things, a matter of perspective, of relativity, a matter of "timing" not "a matter of time."
I won't rest til I can't breathe
I can't breathe with you looking at me
Are you still mad?
As if I could only feel one emotion at a time. I mean...yeah? Yes I'm still mad. But that's only one slice of the pie graph of things I feel. Which looks a little different every day. Just like the soul.
I feel the hurt in my gut regularly
hurts when I'm full hurts when I'm empty
hard for me to tell the difference between
all those pains feel about the same to me
There's a difference between holding onto resentment and holding a grudge. Of course, they most often go hand in hand, but they can be separated. They manifest in different ways. Resentment can leave you bitter and seething, but a grudge can lead you to actively hate a person and plot against their ruin. It would be unhealthy and unwise for me to deny myself of my resentment, because it's so present, so real. But I'm trying hard not to hold a grudge.
never really know what I need
guess I could use some consistency
but chaos is where I thrive and it's what I believe
maybe it's time that I give up on me
To say it simply, I can't treat you as a friend. I don't have the stamina and truthfully I don't have the will. But I don't want to treat you as an enemy.
I get bored as I get older
Can you help me figure this out
But it's still true, more often than not?
Can I tell you about what's been going on?
Will you ever let me all the way in?
"Where did my friends go?"
(I'll never ask for sympathy)
(even if I need it
every now and then)
(even if I do what I can
to make it difficult for you
to give)
Where do your friends go
Where do they see you
What did you want to be
...Are you okay?
I ask myself that question every day
if I don't no one will
still haven't got a straight answer
we will all need to move on
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aw, shut the hell...
shut your mouth
November, 2020
italicized/quoted lyrics - Bradford Cox