Apparently, a
common affliction of youth. The inability to picture oneself at 30, and resultant
disbelief that one will live to see that age.
The
landmark is so noticeable at this age, perhaps, because it takes a long time to get there. It's probable that we have similar
mileposts all through our lives. That in some inarticulated way we doubt we'll ever turn ten, then maybe 18 or 21, then 30. Wherever it falls, precisely, it does seem there's another
age somewhere between 10 and
the end of one's teens that we cannot conceive of reaching. It seems likely that one has a similar feeling of questioning maybe about age 60, or 80.
Someone's probably said all this before.
Our picture of ourself
changes rapidly during childhood, and only just
begins to settle down during puberty. By 20, maybe we've got a little bit, just a very
basic conscious concept of who we are. At 30, I presume, we have more
faith in our knowledge of ourselves, we've started to really know what we want to do or where we want to go, even if we're not entirely ready to
commit to those pursuits. Of course, as the
process of personal change slows down, it should become easier and easier to picture oneself multiple
decades down the line, as most future changes will be in terms of
physical appearance or
experiences accrued.
I realized today
I'm probably not going to die when I'm 30. Rather,
prole the 30 year old will look back and be amazed that she is the
same person as prole the 21 year old, the same way prole the
21 year old now feels about prole the 12 year old and is starting to feel about prole the 17 year old. Maybe by the time I hit 40, I'll be able to look back a decade and
relate to myself.