"Dude, what are you saying?"
"Just what I said. You
heard what I said, right?"
"Yeah, I heard what you said. I didn't like the way you sounded like you
meant it."
"I
did mean it. Come on, you want to. I know it."
"
Fuck you, man. You're
drunk."
"I'm just
tipsy. And
horny. And there's no
girls around. And there
is this
donkey. Right here."
"You're fuckin' nuts. I don't wanna have
sex with a donkey."
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't!"
"Yes, you do!"
"Dude, shut up! I'd prefer my dates to at least be
human."
"You mean you'd
fuck a guy before you'd
fuck this donkey?"
"Yeah, I probably would. Hell, I
know I would."
"
Fag."
"
Shut up. And stop
touching that donkey that way."
"Why? I think she likes it."
"What's up with you? You've never acted like a perv before."
"Dude, I've
always been an
ass man."
"Wha? I thought you'd meant you liked girls' asses!"
"Well, they'll do. But you get better
action from a donkey. They
kick."
"Dude, they'll
kick your fucking dick off. And seriously, stop
touching that donkey."
"No, dammit! I can't stand to
wait any longer! I can't let this
glorious donkey-flesh go to waste! I can't let this
flower of equininity wither away!"
"Dude! Shut up!"
"No! I want to
ravish her! I want to feel her
shaggy loins beneath my own! I want to make her mine and mine alone!"
"Oh God! Stop it! Put your
pants back on!"
"Let's do it, man! Let's
FUCK this donkey!"
"Jesus God! I -- I gotta get out of here!"
"Ooooh, yeah! That's it!
Come with me, baby! Yeah! Whooo-YEAH! YYYEEEEAAHHH!!!"
Excerpt: "Life on the Jones Farm", (C) 1958 by Educational Films Corporation, Hollywood, California
E2 Grand Prize Winner: Don't Node Everything That Pops Into Your Mind division