Memorizing Pi

The following is Zarn's (Humorous) Guide to Memorizing Pi to 100 Decimal Places

It seems that everyone has no life and tries to memorize Pi like me, but I havn't gotten out in 3 months. I find it easiest to divide Pi into 50 numbers in a section. This is how I am able to do it, after I eat 16 hotdogs.

3.14159265358979323 - I still remember this much from my prison cell wall, infidel.

8 - I just ate 16 people, half of them have already digested.

46264 - COOL mirror image number only when you smoke plastic bags.

33 - This is the number of dead people in my basement. Next to my golf clubs.

832 - This is the prefix for the whorehouse in my area.

795 - My dad used to have a post office box with this number until I pipe bombed it and killed all the post men, that how I got into PRISON.

0288 - Numbers starting with zero make me feel funny in the tummy.

4 - This is how many years it takes me to crap.

1971 - I didn't like the 70's, because polyester chafes my bottom.

69 - Oh come on! This number is easy to remember for obvious reasons! (but I don't know anything about that)

3993 - How many times I've been rejected.

7510 - Last number in this section.


5820 - Stupid mosquitoes.

974 - A Futuristic Pork style?

944 - A Present day Pork style! Fagot!

5923 - Kind of related to nothing in hell.

0781 - This number also makes me feel happy.

640 - Popular computer graphic screen width.

628 - What is the 40 above in hex? I dunno, but its not 628.

620 - MY SCREEN IS COVERED IN BLOOD!!!

8998 - Two lesbians on a bench.

628 - In medievil times they used cows as cannon balls.

0348 - Orifice of emptiness. So lonely.

2 - The number of brain cells I think every one else has because I am anal.

53 - My wife's age.

421 - One minute past 4:20.

1 - "I'm so lonely because I stay at home and memorize pi!" (Three Dog Night)

706 - Almost a Boeing 707 airplane! I'm a world terrorist. Release my brother Sid Chameele Ramadan and I will lift this bomb threat.

79 - The distance to my fridge in meters.

Got that? Now was that so hard? Believe it or not but that's Pi TO 100 DECIMIAL PLACES! Learn it and you can become a member of club 100! One of the most coveted nerd clubs on the Web. We are all dumb and would like to have you in our cult.

I was taught this one: "Can I have a large container of coffee, thank you"... Count the letters in each word & you get 3.141592653 which is close enough for most assignments. It's rather tedious, though, and there are better ways, I'm sure!

Audited October 6, 2001

Using the same system of number-of-letters for numbers, one can get a little deeper into the number with a poem:

Pie.
3

"I wish I could determine Pi... Eureka!" cried the great inventor:
14159265358

"Christmas pudding, christmas pie is the problem's very center"
979323846

Anyone who feels they can compose a next line with word lengths 43383279 is welcome to do so. For further digits, check pi.

Personally, my favorite way of memorizing pi is to remember where the pi key is on my calculator. Any arithmetic involving more than a few digits pi should not be carried out by hand when there is a better way available. Unless your computer or calculator does not have sufficient precision for the task.

If, however, you are stranded on an alien world and you need to compute your ballistic course back to Earth, and your solution needs to have pi to better precision than 1 part in 1 sextillion... what are you supposed to do then, compute a sextillion terms of the alternating series approximation? No. You're not supposed to use that many digits of pi, because there's no way your rocket will be able to have that degree of precision anyway. Just figure out a way to make course corrections en-route. But assuming you have no choice...

... and supposing you do have a calculator capable of doing a square root and unlimited precision, spam the 2, square root, and + keys until you have twice as many nines in the result as you want digits of pi; then get the difference of this from 2, take the square root, and double the result until you get something looking like pi. Other series converge faster, but this is fast enough for most purposes, and easy to remember.

... and supposing your calculator instead has limited precision, it will probably have less precision than the digits given above, outright. Even if the calculator can hold 11, you will need to break up each number into multiple parts and carry out complicated carrying actions on the number each time you use it (especially nasty for those square roots). You might as well do it on paper. Either way, I hope you aren't error-prone, since whatever you are calculating probably is.