A game, a game. A game for those who aren't as, say, "athletically inclined" as an average All-American Boy. A game for you and me. Semi-competitive. Semi-cooperative. Loosely regulated. Full of laffs.

I give you:

Penultimate Frisbee
"All That For Nothing"

Whereas Ultimate Frisbee is based on a synthesis of (american) football, soccer and what-have-you, penultimate frisbee is based on baseball. However, it is not to be confused with Frisbee Baseball, which approaches more the level of "sport" rather than "game".

To play penultimate frisbee, you will need a few things:

1.A frisbee.
2.A little-league sized (this is important) baseball field.
3.Three or four people. No less than three.

The three (or four) people will fill the positions of Batter, Pitcher, Infielder and (in the case of a fourth player) Outfielder. The Infielder also acts as Umpire, being the final arbiter of all disputes. However! As will be explained in detail, these positions are fluid and all players will fill all of them. So don't worry too much about how to decide who plays what. Come up with your own method.

The first important thing about penultimate frisbee, organizationally, is that there are no teams, as such. Each player is tallying an individual score as a batter.

The non-batting players cooperate as a fielding team to prevent the batter from scoring.

With the batter on home plate, the other players arrange themselves appropriately, with the pitcher on the mound, and the fielders in the field. Fielders may not guard bases directly (no standing on first base, etc.).

The pitcher pitches to the batter by throwing the frisbee to/at him/her in a pre-designated strike zone. A pitch outside the strike zone is a ball. A pitch through the strike zone which is not caught by the batter is a strike. A pitch which is caught and then dropped, or which bounces off the batter and hits the ground, is a strike. Three strikes is an out.

The batter bats by throwing the frisbee. There is an imaginary "batting zone", which extends in a cone outward from home plate, and passes near the pitcher's mound. The idea here is that it's "no fair" to throw the frisbee in a direction which would make it essentially impossible for the fielders to get to it in a reasonable amount of time. Think of it this way: you're moving the foul lines in, between the pitcher's mound and the base paths. A foul ball (one which passes outside the redefined foul lines, or otherwise lands in pre-defined foul territory) is a strike. However, one cannot strike out via fouling.

A batted frisbee which becomes inclined in the air to such a degree that it will roll around in aggrivating circles upon hitting the ground, or one which, in fact, does roll around in aggrivating circles on the ground, is ruled a "Rollyman", and is a foul.

The batter then runs for the nearest base, attempting to round as many bases as possible.

Outs occur when a frisbee is caught by a fielder, or when a fielder holding the frisbee tags a base before the batter does. Indian Rubber is optional.

If the batter successfully tags a base (or several bases), he or she bats again. However! Instead of returning to home plate, the batter bats from the base he or she is standing on. The outfield rotates around, and positions are taken up as if the base the batter is standing on is home plate. Play continues until the batter scores a run (at the actual home plate), or is tagged/caught out. A batter continues to bat until the batter is out.

When the batter is out, the positions rotate as such:

The batter becomes the outfielder.
The outfielder becomes the infielder.
The infielder becomes the pitcher.
The pitcher becomes the new batter.

An inning has passed when all players have batted.

Before play can begin, some things must be decided. Some of these things are dependent on the conditions of the playfield and will have to be redefined for each game.

A. Foul territory.
B. Home run distance.
C. The stike zone.
D. The "batting zone".
E. The number of innings to be played, or some other criteria for ending the game such as "when we're all too tired to play anymore" or "when we run out of beer".

See? Simple as pie.

The key to penultimate frisbee is flexibility. One must not get too hung up on rigid rules. For this reason, it is customary to be either drunk or high on marijuana while playing.

In the "giving credit where credit is due" department, it should be noted that penultimate frisbee was created by them whacked-out Brandeis doodz Rick Snyder and Andy Szekely.

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