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n. slang, exclamation

Onamotapoetic word describing the wet, juicy sound of someone or something getting gibbed, typically with a quiet or silent weapon in a FPS game, so that all one hears is the sound of blood pressure equalizing with atmospheric pressure instantly. Also used in RPGs and RTSs to denote the death of something horribly undermatched for the weapon used against it. The key items are the presence of viscera or gore, and nearly instant fatal trauma. Things that go "sputch":


Things that do not go "sputch":
  • getting run over by a Vespa (even repeatedly)
  • taking a Louisville Slugger to the throat
  • flat of a broadsword to the skull (exception: swung by a Hill Giant)
  • falling in front of a cute girl (exception: into the Grand Canyon)
  • you take off the head of a Gummi Bear with one swipe of your big, cute, furry paw
  • mom's advice, in one ear and out the other
  • certain forms of non-splash damage, e.g., from a rocket launcher

This may vary wildly from situation to situation. For example, in an RTS game, one might have a unit or tactic which levels the enemy's population center in a matter of moments. This can, given the right amount of surprise, be considered worthy of hollering out "sputch!" In a FPS, if one is killing frequently and with little effort, as though crushing ants between one's fingers, that may also merit a "sputch," even if the weapon of choice isn't making the appropriate sound. Occasionally appropriate while watching football.


"You are confronted by three Kobolds, and they look hungry."
"I cast Fireball at the one in front as soon as he steps in the puddle of lamp-oil."
"Roll damage, please."
"Let's see... 8d6 plus, um, how much for the oil?"
"4d12."
"They take... 92 damage... each."
"Sputch!"

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