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i want to be just like everyone else. i want a good job, a nice car, a 3 bedroom house in the nice part of town. i want to wake up everyday at precisely 643 am, shower, brush my teeth, iron my shirt, and be out the door by 730. at work by 8, sitting behind the same desk that i sit at everyday. analyzing reports, or handling the latest situation with our biggest client. making sure the paperwork is all done correctly. telling brian in accounting why it would be best for everyone that he not come back to work here anymore. making sure our clients are getting the proper attention and respect that they deserve. out the door by a quarter to five, but do not tell the boss. he has been on the golf course since 3.

i want a wife that stopped loving me years ago, oh, we were in love once, but you know how things work, the chemistry just isnt there anymore, plus there was that business with my secretary. but we got over that, worked out our differences, we made things work. but lately it seems things just are not the same, what with all my hours at work, and her with this new sorority organization in which she helps out a few nights a week. so what with all that it should be understood that we just do not really connect anymore, not that we are separating or getting a divorce or anything. no, we would never. you know, for the kids sake?

i want my 3 children, the oldest son named after me, of course. then my daughter ashley, a beautiful name, not really that common. and my youngest son, john. a strong name. a good name. i want them to be in all the things i never did, in music, in sports, in acting. i want them to be all the things i never was. to succeed in everything. i want them to do well in school as well. what with the staff of tutors i will hire for them. i would do it myself, you know, but im just so busy. having to support this family, and the time i spend at the church. i lead a youth prayer group, gotta be a good example for those teens, teach them how to be upright young adults. gotta make sure that they believe, and set the standard for their peers. and what, with the free admission to the home sporting events, who would not have the time?

i want my house to be immaculate, with the best lawn in the neighborhood. i want to have the nicest car on the block. i want to be sure and have it rolled out of the 2 car garage by 9 am on saturdays so i can hand wash, wax and dry it where everyone can admire it. it really is a work of art, i am just so proud of it. i spent a lot of money on it, and i show it off every chance i get.

i want to be the guy that dresses immaculately at the office. all the women simply adore me, because i cut such a dashing figure. i swear, i have to beat them off with a stick! no but seriously, i am always turning down those discrete offers to go have a drink, or to come by and see why gina's hd tv is not tuning in properly. i would you know, but we already discussed how dedicated i am to my wife. i... well, you know. we get along so well...

i want to have the latest cool gadgets. the iphone, even though i have an ipod and a blackberry; the 65 inch lcd tv; all the latest video game systems; a sweet wireless speaker surround sound system, that i had personally installed by the audio store; and everything else i could ever want or need. i do not really know why i need all this stuff, and i tend to start hobbies and never follow through with them. but its ok, one of these days i will get around to it, there is plenty of time.

i want to be all these things. just like everybody else.

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