One of the most fascinating things about dolphins, a marine mammal with intelligence and social interactions developed to a comparable level to that of humans, is the possession of a prehensile penis. Simply put, they have a phallus with the capacity to move and shape itself, not unlike the trunk of an elephant. This versatility removed the evolutionary pressure in female dolphins to have a, literally, straight-forward vaginal tract. In fact, as a test of intelligence and dexterity, the interiors of female dolphins' vaginas became increasingly complex. The spermicidal nature of enzymes on the surface of the vaginal canal made it necessary for a male dolphin to navigate his penis through the entire length of the increasingly complex vaginal mazes, allowing himself to ejaculate only in the chamber adjacent to the cervix, the muscular ring that seperates the uterus from the vagina. Thus, only males capable of passing the test of the vaginal maze can impregnate female dolphins and produce progeny.

The above paragraph is entirely false. It is a deception, but an entertaining one. It is also a warning of the capacity that one with a certain degree of technical knowledge has to deceive others. Be wary and always think about what is told to you. Gullibility makes evolutionary sense in children, who cannot learn all the hard lessons of life for themselves, but not in adults who can fall prey to hoodwinking. Incidentally, while vaginal mazes are a construct of my perverse imagination, male dolphins DO have prehensile penises. It was, in fact, that interesting anatomical tidbit that fostered the entire idea of a vaginal maze.

There would be no evolutionary pressure towards systems that make it more difficult for an individual to reproduce unless those systems generated a much higher percentage of young capable, in turn, of reproducing. Since penis dexterity is not an important survival characteristic for dolphins, a mating system based on selection of this skill of dubious merit would not make evolutionary sense. Instead, the current social system in which intelligent, capable dolphins who occupy leadership roles within the pod have the majority of children, makes perfect evolutionary sense, as one would expect from a product of evolution.


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