I had
a great idea not too long ago, but you can't tell anyone, okay?
Here's the deal: basically, we would set up a
charity fund to aid "young
struggling artists in America." We'd take
donations and everything would be legit, we just wouldn't tell anyone exactly how the money was going to be used.
Then, when we got about half a million dollars, we'd get in contact with every cancerous act that entertainment harbors:
N'Sync, the
Backstreet Boys,
Britney Spears,
Freddy Prinze Jr.,
Kirsten Dunst,
Anne Rice's crotchling (who now fancies himself an author), everyone who is sucking the
consumer's money and attention away from real artists. Like myself.
Then we'd give them all a share of the cash, say, $50,000.
Enough to live on comfortably for a year. The only
stipulation of this money would be that they had to go away for a whole year. No time in the
studio, no tours, no riding on mom's coattails at social gatherings in the
Garden District, nothing. Just sit on your
ass and stay out of
the public eye for 365 days.
But don't tell anyone, okay?