I have a collection of friends that yell at me to sleep, eat, do yoga, and get out of the apartment. This and a helpfully thoughtless behavior on the part of the dark man appears to have done the trick. I am much less full of self-loathing today, and suspect it's going to get better from here.
The thing my jerk brain conveniently hid under the sofa is that this isn't the first time I've coped with this, and it being the latest doesn't actually make it the worst. I'm not trying to support him losing his family home while dealing with my own issues and feelings. I'm not trying to balance out a codependent friendship while fruitlessly trying to get him to pay any attention or thought to the Burning Man camp he asked me to start and then ghosted.
Just maybe, this is going to be okay and I can focus more on lifting weights and planning my time off than on him.
Spring coming soon.