filling in the blanks... been gone a while and i just want to make certain these fall on the right days.
i hate albuquerque. i hate gangstees. i hate forgetting my knife... because there are some days you only realise people are flammable after they flee.
so no shit, there i was, walking down the road, when suddenly this guy tries to rape me...runs up behind me, and in a totally ineffective moron-fu maneuver, grabs me by the boobs and the crotch...so i reached for my trusty jackknife, with a shout of "and now is the time on sprockets when we kill you in the face with death!" and then i realised i had no jackknife. ooh, pisspoor day to wear the other jacket. and the thought that goes through my head is: "great, i'm gonna get raped in a well-lit alley forty metres from my house. well, most accidents happen close to home..." so, feeling like an utter fool under my fifty pounds of backpack, but still standing, startlingly enough, i resort to the defense of the immovable object. i weigh close to two hundred pounds with my current assortment of gear and books, and i'm five foot one. i can be bent, spindled, and mutilated with the application of sufficient kung-fu, but unless i want to move, or you hit me with a tank, i'm not going anywhere. and, so firmly affixed, i unleash a gory yell for help that turns my skin a fairer shade of pale...
and he leaps back and runs like a man chased by the immortal legions of hell, which if my brother had been home, he might have been...
and nothing happens. not a ding in the calm of the urban night. i shit you not. i stand in the cold, immediately in front of someone's front door, watching them watch tv through the blinds for five minutes while i speculate about summoning the boys in blue, before finally heading off to the mailbox, which i know damn well contains 128mb of ram, all for me. as i slink out of the alley, sprained back and all, i hear someone announce they're going to take out the trash, and i watch them do so, as i filter my mail. i am faintly astonished at the utter lack of response, once again proving that people suck, and yelling any number of things, 'help', 'rape', and 'get off me, fucker', among them, is an utterly useless exercise in inviting a sore throat.
for once i'm glad i'm the only one who noticed...