My brain is feeling numb, due to the typical routine of getting up,
getting the bus, and sitting in lessons pretending to be interested. I
expect it's a hell of a lot better than engaging in the well known "working for
a living" routine, however that doesn't console me much. It's not that i'm
idle (seriously!), it just seems that theres nothing to look forward to in
the future. I have a choice of either:
a) Spending another 4 or 5 years in full education, get a degree, and
then finally wander into the big wide world.
or...
b) Drop out now, with barely an excuse for a qualification - resulting in a
shitty dead end job with as many prospects as Osama Bin Laden's
hairdresser!
What a compelling choice. It goes without saying that I am "expected" to
follow route a), but don't you just hate living upto expectations?
I suppose my dream is to reach freedom by losing everything (cliched I
know). Maybe it's just me, but I really see nothing worthwhile in following
the footsteps of just about every other "respectable" person I know. Don't get
me wrong, I am not afraid to work, only of working because I have to (in that
its the only reason). Ultimately I don't think modern civilization allows
anyone to lead even a remotely unselfish life. The main reason is
because peoples lives have become so much more complicated. This
eventually leads to a point where everyone seems to think they are "special"
(in an arrogant kind of way). If life was simpler, I think much of the
conflict and selfishness that we see today would be reversed. I'm not
claiming a utopian society, just a better one than we have currently.
I suppose the irony is, we are all slowly digging our own graves, but it
takes so long that must of us die before we finish digging.
hey i'm sceptical, shoot me!