I haven’t felt this good in a while. Of all the sentimental emotion I have experienced, this has to be one of my favourites. I can feel it crawling through my nervous system – like an army of ants – but pleasant. I can feel a strange calm sweeping over me. It really is great, and I can’t help but smile. As I look at the bleeding body beneath me, it’s hard not to scream – it makes me so happy.
I whisper to myself, “Ah, Patrick, such a beautiful piece of useless shit, you were. But you are no more. I don’t have to worry about you ever again.” Tears start to fall down my cheeks as I realise happiness really had me today. I guess I should leave now, before I get caught – but what the hell, this feels way too good, who cares where I go? I sure don’t.
The rain in the background sounds beautiful, at harmony with my happiness. I sigh, and then kiss the corpse’s forehead. “Oh Patrick, I always loved you, it is such a shame that I had to kill you.” I can see the ring on his finger, and I can’t help but think of the wonderful memory of that special day. Lust starts to overthrow me. This is too perfect. I smile even more, and then start stripping the corpse below me, I can’t help giggling now. I stick the knife I used deep into his groin so that I can mount myself onto the handle.
“Just like old times” I say as I thrust myself unto the beautiful thing I had created. This has to be the greatest day of my life; nothing has ever matched what I feel right now. People say that love is beautiful and the best thing anyone could feel – but that’s bullshit, this is much better. Love is evil, a horrible thing, not what everybody says it is. Then again, if it wasn’t for the irresistible lustful tendencies of love – what I am doing now would have never happened, and I would have never been able to reach a pleasant feeling of this intensity. I can feel myself nearing a climax. I’m screaming, yelping, louder than I ever have before. I hope someone doesn’t hear my calls.
“It would really suck if someone had to ruin this, wouldn’t it, my love?” I say quietly, “quiet, please, and stop making me scream!” I somehow hope he can still hear me, not that I care right now. Despite what I had just said, I am still screaming, louder...louder...
There it is. I feel what some call the most beautiful thing a person can experience. I start giggling uncontrollably; I can’t even tell Patrick how great that was. I try to stand up, but I can’t, I feel way too good. If I were to die at this very moment, I wouldn’t care – after this, I would be happy to. Maybe I should die. If I die now, I wouldn’t have to put up with the burden of everyday life – and this would be such an uplifting way to die. I can’t feel pain like this; I can’t feel fear – just pleasure. Pleasure that very few have felt before. The amazing pleasure of murdering the one you love. Maybe I’m confused, am I supposed to be this happy for doing this to the love of my life? Who cares, this is the best I’ve felt in my life.
I rip the knife out of my helpless husband and look at it. I smile as I think of the pleasures of meeting death. It looks like my time has come, I have done everything I can in my life now – only death awaits me after something so beautiful such as this. I lay next to the bright, but bleeding dead star I saw Patrick as, and hold his hand. I hold the bloody knife above my throat and shout, “dying with you is the way I have wanted to for a very long time, I love you” then I let go, and smile. I only feel more pleasure now as death takes me. The pain I feel has a beautiful calm about it. I don’t know why people are so scared, this is beautiful.
Death isn’t scary at all, it isn’t a horrible person, it’s beautiful, and you will meet him one day and realise this.