Lucid dreaming is normally a lot of fun. I change things around to suit me better, making the
dream more enjoyable or give myself power over my enemies within them. There are times when I
am having a lucid dream where I mostly leave well enough alone because the dream is creative,
fun, adventurous all by itself it doesn't need my help to make it better. A few times in the past and
more increasingly of late however my lucid dreams have changed. There is a frightening element to them that I'm not sure how to handle or change.
I know that I am dreaming, I try to change things because it's getting frightening, only to
realize I can't. It's as if I am bound in a dark goo, an unrelenting shield that oozes over me. I can't
wake up, no matter how hard I try until whatever it is releases me, laughing at my inability to fight
it. It taunts me and controls me. Last night I had a perfect example of what I mean.
The following is of a twisted and adult nature I shall keep the details to a minimum for the public eyes sake, never the less you have been warned...
I am in a forest, most like in mountains somewhere. There are others with me, including my
husband. There is a small very run down cabin on the property and we have brought Rv's and
other
camping equipment with us. It has been decided that we should rebuild the cabin into a
suitably liveable permanent home. Although the Rv's are fine for winter living, I no longer wish to
live with my husband in the one we had been sharing, the other one was occupied with another
couple and it was beginning to get too cold for a tent. So we were all pitching in to get the cabin
done before it snowed. I was busily planning out how best to renovate, what materials and how to
use them. While the others were doing most of the work (even in my dreams I'm on crutches)
since I was incapable of doing much.
One night I decide that even though the cabin is not finished, that I should start sleeping in it
anyway, figuring it's likely to be much warmer then the tent. It's a cold and dark night and I
snuggle into my sleeping bag figuring the dream will skip ahead to another daylight scene at any
moment. I allow myself to close my eyes and relax within the dream. That was when it came. I hear the panting of an animal of some sort outside my window, I'm filled with an unreasonable
amount of fear. I know I shouldn't be afraid, all I have to do is will it away... I can't my thoughts
are stuck within my mind they are not projecting out into the dream as they should be. I lay very
still thinking perhaps the beast hasn't noticed me and will simply keep going on with out
bothering to investigate further. Instead it leaps in through my window beside my bed bringing
with it an unrelenting darkness. I am blind within this darkness, I can not move, I can not speak.
The creature jumps upon my bed, sprawling himself over me. I am compelled to give it sexual
favors although I am fighting against doing so with all my might. I can not feel myself doing these
deeds and yet I know I am and am horribly shamed by them. Graphic images of the unimaginable
acts I am performing flash through my mind, I try to block them and do some but I still know that
I am being shown what I can not see in the darkness. The beast howls in delight at it's power and
satisfaction it has gained from me.
Although I fear and hate what this beast has done I reach out to it hoping that at least in my
shame it will stay and keep me warm through the night. Laughter, it's laughing at my stupidity and weakness. Then all at once it is gone and I instantly am awake, shaking, in a cold sweat.
Even awake I am frightened and shamed by my dream it as if I have been violated in a most vile and mocking way. Made to do things I would never do under my own free will, then when forced to admit it, accept it, then I am rejected, laughed at.