The almost definitive list
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?
A: You can't fuck a rock.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over?
A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die?
A: Because the koala landed on it.
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Q: How do you get a baby out of a tree?
A: You give a Mexican a stick and tell him it's a pinata!
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Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
A: A Doberman on a children's playground!
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Q: What is more fun than stapling dead babies to the wall?
A: Pulling them off.
Q: What's more fun than nailing a baby to a fence?
A: Ripping it back off.
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Q1: What's red and white and goes 'round and 'round?
Q2: What goes red white, red red, white white red...?
Q3: What is pink and red and goes round and round?
Q4: What's pink and with a flick of a switch turns red?
Q5: What's red and chunky and travels, in a circle, at 190 mph ?
A: A baby in a blender
Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face!
Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender face first?
A: So you can see it's feet pulling up into tiny little fists!
Q1: How do you get 1000 dead babies in a phone booth?
Q2: How do you get 10 dead babies into a tupperware bowl?
A1: La' Machine!
A2: Use a blender
Q: How do you get it out?
A1: With a straw!
A2: Doritos
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Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a garbage can?
A: Ten dead babies in a garbage can.
Q: What is worse than 10 dead babies in a garbage can?
A: One dead baby in a ten garbage cans.
Q: What's worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid?
A: A trashcan lid in a dead baby.
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Q: What do you do with 4 dead babies and a sheet of glass?
A: Make a coffee table.
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Q: What is easier to unload, a truck full of Dead Babies or a truck full
of bowling balls?
A: Dead Babies, you can use a pitchfork
Q: What's the difference between a truck load of dead babies and a truck
load of bricks?
A: You can't use a pitchfork on bricks.
Q: What's the difference between a barrel of water and a barrel of babies?
A: You can't shovel water with a pitchfork.
Q: How do you load 100 screaming babies onto a truck?
A: A pitchfork.
Q: How do you unload a truck full of babies?
A: With a pitchfork.
Q: Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
A: So you can tell which ones are still alive.
Q: What's this? (hold arms out and shake them)
A: A live one.
Q: How do you know when you hit a live one?
A: The pitchfork shakes
Q: How do you find the live baby in a pile of dead ones?
A: Jab 'em all with a pitchfork.
Q: What is worse than that?
A: At the bottom of the pile, there was one trying to eat its way out
Q: What is worse than that?
A: It made it
Q: What is worse than that?
A: It went back for seconds!
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Q. Whats more fun that spinning a baby on clothes line?
A. Stopping it with a shovel.
Q: What's more fun that spinning a baby on a clothesline at 100MPH?
A: Stopping it with a cricket bat (thwok)
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Q: What is worse than running a baby over with a car?
A: Getting it out of the tires.
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Q: How is a baby like a grape?
A: They both give a little wine when you squish them.
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Q: What's small, red, and can't turn around in corridors?
A: A baby with a javelin through its head.
Q: How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
A: Stick a javelin through it's head.
Q: What's small, red and can't get into elevators?
A: A baby with a javelin in it's head.
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Q: What does a dingo call a baby in a pram?
A: Meals on wheels.
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Q: What is pink, and with the flick of a switch, goes black?
A: A baby playing with a powerpoint.
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Q: What's black and furry and crawls across New South Wales?
A: A baby covered in Funnel-Web spiders.
( PS. Funnel-Web Spiders are black and furry )
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Q: What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A: A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
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