A classic little tale of greed and non-kosher foods. Pretty much everyone knows this story (or some variant of it) due to infinite reproduction in countless children's books and the like. The Three Little Pigs is also the basis for any number of parodies and adaptions to different themes.


Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who lived together with their mother. When the time came for them to seek their fortunes in the world, their mother packed a meal for each of them and bade them on their way.

The first little pig met a man carrying a bale of straw. "Good sir," implored the pig, "Please give me that straw, that I may build a house with it." The man gave the bale of straw to the pig, who proceeded to use it in the construction of his house.

Unfortunately, all was not well in the world, for the Big Bad Wolf (a fearsome creature of those parts) had spotted the straw home and was feeling a bit hungry at the time. The Wolf strode up to the door and knocked.

"Little pig, little pig, let me in," the suave Wolf requested.

The pig, however, knew of the Wolf, and replied "Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!"

The Wolf, now angered, responded "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!"

So saying, the Wolf took a deep breath and blew his hardest at the house, demolishing the weak straw construction around the pig, who the Wolf promptly ate. Sated, he continued onward.

Meanwhile, the second little pig met a man carrying a bundle of firewood. "Good sir," implored the pig, "Please give me that wood, that I may build a house with it." The man gave the bundle of wood to the pig, who proceeded to use it in the construction of his house.

However, once again the Big Bad Wolf was in the neighborhood, and saw the smoke rising from the home of the second pig. Despite his previous meal, the delicious scents of food set his mouth watering, and he approached the door to knock.

"Little pig, little pig, let me in," the Wolf salivated.

This pig was also hip to the tricks of the Wolf, and responded in kind. "Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!"

Denied once more, the Wolf was filled with rage. "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down,"he cried.

And with a great intake of air, the Wolf blew a great wind and knocked over the house of sticks. A quick couple of bites consumed the hapless pig, and the Wolf continued onwards again.

While this was occuring, the third little pig met a man driving a wheelbarrow full of bricks and mortar. "Good sir," implored the pig, "Please give me those bricks, that I may build a house with it." The man gave the wheelbarrow to the pig, who proceeded to use it in the construction of his house.

But yet again did the wolf happen upon the scene, and although he was quite full from having eaten two entire pigs, the glutton saw this as another chance for a meal. The Wolf walked up to the door of the house and knocked.

"Little pig, little pig, let me in," the Wolf snarled.

The third pig also knew of the Wolf, and refused him entrance. "Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin," he shouted back.

Incensed, the wolf uttered his dire threat once more. "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!"

Once again, the wolf huffed and he puffed, but this time the sturdy bricks held strong. Enraged, he huffed and puffed again, but yet the bricks remained firm. A third time he set about blowing the house over, but the hyperventilation combined with the two cholesterol-rich pigs he'd previously devoured proved too much, and the wolf fell over dead of a heart attack. The third little pig lived happily ever after.

THE END.