This node contains ironic references. Some parts of it are not meant to be taken seriously, except if taken from the point of view of a competitive Sydneysider, which I am.

Contrary to the opinions of some previous reviewers of this city, it always rains in Melbourne, lending a rather grey pall to the atmosphere; in Sydney it merely rains sporadically in downpours.

Melbourne is not exactly seen as the heart of Australia, except perhaps when one refers to conservative Anglophilic Australia.
Melbourne is seen as being slower than Sydney, and fonder of right-wing governments. This 'world-class' city is, however, said to be classier than its northern cousin, in that your well-dressed Melbournian is more likely to be seen in camel-and-black than your red-and-animal-patterned Sydneysider.

Melbourne is infamous for having stolen the Formula One Grand Prix from its poorer Western cousin Adelaide, which could barely afford the loss, and for corporatising many public institutions such as secondary schools.

Melbournians went through a bit of cosmetic surgery recently, administered vigourously by one J. Kennett, MLA aka 'Bloody Jeff' (now a peak-time Melbourne radio announcer) who, after stabbing the Victorian electorate in the back one too many times, was Caesared himself after a devastating several years as Premier.

The final blow came when Sydney got the Olympics in 1993.

Unfortunately the blow for Sydneysiders was worse.