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Am I the only one who, when walking around town, has noticed all these young folks telling each other "Happy Valentine's Day"? Even older folks, I presume being business owners trying to mollify the politically correct crowd, are expressing themselves so.

Well back in my day, before all these librul SJW types began their War on "Merry Saint", that's exactly how it went. Everybody used to greet each other, "Merry Saint Valentine's Day," and then perhaps paused a bit to sing some Saint Valentine’s Day hymns and recount the many miracles of Saint Valentine, one of the most revered deities in all of religiondom. Well those librul SJW's, they managed to quash the whole practice of worshiping this powerful god, Saint Valentine. First they banned the whimsical old tradition of marching sinners to the town square on Saint Valentine's Day to berate them for their nonbelief in the sacredness of Saint Valentine, before ripping their still-beating hearts right out of their bodies and showing it to them in the minutes before they whimsically died. Then they added all these commercialized traditions of cards and heart-shaped candy and skimpy lingerie. Not that I don't like those things, but they just seem such empty and hollow gestures if nobody's actual heart-shaped still-beating heart is being ripped from their chest. And now, the final straw, the bastardization of the name of the day itself, and using that offensive secular librul word "Happy" instead of the proper worshipful word "Merry."

So this Saint Valentine's Day season, take a stand for the old ways. If anybody tries to tell you "Happy Valentine's Day," get right up in their face and scream, "It's MERRY SAINT Valentine's Day you sonofabitch!!" Then go for their still-beating heart.