I, as a Canadian, am trying not to puke on my shoes and am hoping not to get the knock on the door from our ornery neighbours.

So when I was in Europe last summer my host-in-Sweden's father told us a little joke:

Q: What do you call someone who speaks three languages?
A: Trilingual.
Q: What do you call someone who speaks two languages?
A: Bilingual.
Q: What do you call someone who speaks only one language?
A: American.