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"As best as I can tell, I'm responsible for introducing the couple to each other, so you have me to thank. Now, before I elaborate on the story of how they met, I need to digress for a few minutes and explain to you all -- bear with me now -- about a website you've probably never heard of called everything2.com..."

(Not how I led a round of toasts at a 10th-wedding-anniversary last night, but the important thing is that I could have!)