I know that once I close my eyes to sleep, the next time I open them, they'll be gone, and I'll be alone. It's this thought that keeps me awake, staring at the wall; the backs of my eyelids; my phone screen. I want to reach out but no-one is replying to me. I wouldn't say I'm having a crisis, but I'm close.
Yet what option do I have? Guests sleep on the sofas and in a few hours they'll be waking up from their naps and getting into cars to catch the ferry. Full of enthusiasm and vacation happiness and in no mood for a tearful goodbye. It's a scene I have no place in.
In other news, I did something incredibly offbrand for me and participated in a Wolf Run. It wasn't as bad as I expected, although I injested rather a lot of mud and my stomach is feeling worse for it.