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I was just selected to fill out the term of Susan Collins, who as you all know passed away this afternoon after having a highly concerning moment where no one intervened because they were too busy being concerned about what was going on.

Tomorrow, I will introduce a bill in the Senate calling for the government to promote everything2 as its favored substitute for the Facebook social media app that has been riddled with issues and smugness about said issues. This will bring millions of new noders to everything2 within the next couple of weeks. That is, of course, if this bill gets passed. I've talked to Mitch. He nodded at me while making a face and then signaled to someone in a uniform, so I got out of there fast and hid in my office until they stopped looking for me. So, please be prepared.

The second part of the bill will demand the expulsion of the North Korean bots that have been spreading propaganda (a real word - and no, it isn't the same as "Uganda" although I know they have some there) on the site. I will also demand that the North Korean generals who control this site through their shell company, Everything Fine in Pyongyang, LLC, located in the Cayman Islands. This information was in part of the Pandora Papers that no one has gotten around to reading yet. They will. It is just a matter of time. I am being proactive and shit. Making it happen. Keeping it real. That is my motto. And never tell an honest man a lie he will then need to repeat. You'll wreck his vibe.

So, hopefully all will turn out for the best. I am about to get spit-roasted by two bodybuilders from the British West Indies. Wish you were here, sugarnerd.