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Some of the people inside of your television have henchmen. These henchmen are willing and able to do things that the people inside of your television are not willing or able to do. This is notable for a number of reasons. I'll pause to let you count the reasons in your head right now. If you didn't come up with at least seven, then you have failed the test.

It is just the first test. There are many tests. You have taken precious few of them thus far. You are just getting started.

Don't rest. Keep pressing.

Some people won't keep pressing. They get hit hard in the face and head with a rolled up magazine of considerable thickness... and they back down. Amateurs. Wimps. They need to rise up. Embrace. Open themselves. Let the person holding the magazine control the conversation. Let it happen.

Heads are going to roll. That is what happens when people allow the people inside of their televisions to dictate their thoughts. They get enraged. They think everyone is out to get them. They believe. They really believe. And they need a boot stomping, but they need it given in a lovely, caring way that may or may not involve hitting you with a rolled up magazine extremely hard. You will bear the blows. You want to bear the blows. They will serve you well.

Wounds heal. The heart is a harsh mistress. I've heard that the moon is as well. That is just hearsay.

Eventually, you will find considerable seepage coming out of grandpa's head. This is what happens when he spends too much time looking at the people who are very much inside of his television. It is consderable. We don't want it to reach that point. We really don't.

Some of these people have recent fallen off the turnip truck (someone ought to node that). You haven't. You are intact. Remember that. Focus. Press onward.

I am not sure that you know what our program is about. That is through no fault of your own, I assure you. I certainly do.

There used to be a lot more tactile "getting to know you" kind of thing going on with couples. Hands all over faces. Feeling one another up. That was how it was done. Not so much any longer. We CANNOT blame the people inside the television for that. We have no one to blame but ourselves for that. It is the kind of thing that World War II paratroopers would be pissed off to find out that they'd fought to have that kind of thing going on. Numbskulls.

The important thing is that we continue to focus on the people who are inside your television and what they are doing to grandpa and his pals from the automotive shop and the pub. They are doing all kinds of fucking around in there. I am serious. I have seen them. I have overheard their conversations. I have stood at urinals next to them. In their homes. I know a thing or two.

So, rest easy tonight. Tomorrow will be a long one. It is inevitable.

Quite a fabulous world to live in, really. As long as you don't mind getting beaten about the face and head with rolled up magazines. If you can handle that, the rest is gravy.