Why we bad just cuz we compliments yo breasteses?
My good friend Vichizzle asked me to post this to E2 for him. Oh, and please keep in mind that his opinions don't neccessarily reflect mine or the views of this station.
Ah-right, I gots to sound off on dis issue that's been botherin me fo quite some time nah. Dis society gets they panties bunched up fo lotta wack shit, like we gots to call stupidfucks "men-ally dissable" not retards an shit like that. Fur real! But anyways, Vichizz needs to get back on tracks. Ya see, there's apparently a problem with y'all hos out there not knowin how to take some compliments us bruthas be handin ya. Shit. We get bitch slapped and fuckin yelled at just cuz we complimentin yo breasteses.
What the fuck's up wit dat, I axe you?!
Why we be treated like we baddest assholes on the planet if we comes up to y'all and says "Hey, baby, you got some nice breasteses!" What's wrong wit acknowlegin the vizually appealin circumfrences of yo mamalian protuberances? The tenderness of yo titties? The roundness of yo rack? Why you all uptight bout comments like "Baby, yo gots the biggest boobies in Boston" or "Oh man, yo got the mack daddiest mammaries in Missouri," or "You gots the finest flingies in Florida," or "Baby, you gots the jamminest jigglies in Jersey!" I means, come on, we's tryin to say sumthin nice to ya. Werd. Why you not be takin these compliments wit pride? Y'all gets all melty when we tells ya yo eyes are all so beautiful and sparkly so why yo panties go ridin up when we says we appreciates the jamniferous juiciness of yo jugz?!
Come on, nah. They's juss anutha parts of yo body, juss like yo lickable legs and bubblicious backside! Why you smiles when we compliments most utha parts of yo body but get all pissed off when we paraphrase about yo pyramids?! Like just the utha day I be trottin down Martin Luther King Boulevard and I comes across this fine specimen of lady. She had one of the perkiest pair I evah saw. Ol' Vichizz say "Damn, foxy, you gots some magnificent melons there!" An you know what she do?! She fuckin bugz her eyes out and's like "Get the fuck away from me you pervert!" then she stomps on Vichizz's foot and takes off. Shit. I just don't get it. Somebody pleez explaaaaaaains it to me!
Look: dis is what you ladies should do: next time a fella comes up to ya and compliments yo cans, don't get all mad over the tribute to yo titties. Just smiles and say "Why, thank you, I'm so glad you like 'em!" and be proud that yo mama gave you those fine boobies and they's so much appreciated! Werd!
-Vichizzle McNizzle, Pimp Daddy