"So, you come here often?!"
"Very funny!" Osiris yelled to his friend Jim as the two of them continued to plunge through the brisk morning air.
"I figured I'd try some humor for a while!" Jim said as the wind tussled up his air and flared his huge nostrils. "It sure beats screaming!"
"The screaming was very cathartic, but yeah, you have a point!" Osiris replied as he looked down. The multi-colored farm fields below were growing larger, like a monumental, warm-hued checkerboard of death.
"What do you think the actual odds are for two skydivers such as ourselves, in the same jump, to both have malfunctioning parachutes -- and the parachutes are made from two different manufacturers?!" Jim asked.
"Pretty high!" Osiris said. "You forgot to mention that we both also had back up parachutes that failed!"
"Somebody could get rich betting on that in Vegas!" Jim exclaimed.
"D'ya think somebody was trying to kill us?!" Osiris asked as they zoomed toward a flock of geese. As they passed it they scattered about like a hunter had shot at them. Their plucky yelling at the two hapless skydivers for almost running into them quickly faded out of earshot.
"That would certainly make sense, dude!" Jim said. "But who'd wanna kill us?! Well...there is Melvin. We did that Dutch oven thing to him last week!"
"It's possible!" Osiris said. "He did have that shifty look about him!"
"This is so weird!" Jim said, looking down. "The way the ground's rushing towards us. It feels like my balls are in my throat! D'ya think those fields below are soft enough to give us a chance?!"
"Doubtful!" Osiris said. "Do you realize how fast we're probably falling by now?! Dude, we are sooo going to splat!"
Then he made a splatting noise with his tongue and cheeks to illustrate his point.
"It'll be messy I guess!" Jim replied. "D'ya think it'll hurt?!"
"They say most people who fall off buildings and stuff, like, die of a heart attack before they hit the ground, y'know! Like, uhh, they get so scared from hitting the ground they die before they do it!"
"Maybe there's something to that! I mean, this is intense! My ticker's racin'! I don't know how much more it can take!"
"I hear ya!" Osiris agreed. "Hey, I see some people down there! I hope none of them are kids. This should be traumatizing to see!"
"We'll probably bounce!" Jim said. "I've heard that if you hit hard enough, you bounce, maybe several times!"
"Really!?" Osiris said, his voice cracking as if he were a teenager again. The ground was so close he could make more detail, like the probable gender of the half dozen people walking about. It wouldn't be long.
"I guess this is as good of a time as any to tell you that I slept with your wife last year!" Jim said. "It was after that Christmas party!"
"WHAT?!" Osiris yelled. "Aw, man! That slut! Oh well. I have a confession to make, too. I was the mastermind behind that prank on your car two years ago!"
"Oh, with the duct tape, rotten eggs, and fart spray?!" Jim said. "That was you, huh?! You rotten dirty bastard! I never got the smell totally out of it!"
Osiris laughed. Then Jim laughed, too. The ground was rapidly approaching.
"I also videotaped us having sex and uploaded it to the internet!" Jim said. He was going to hit near where a fat blonde woman was standing.
"WHAT?!" Osiris yelled. "You motherf--!"
Jim was indeed right about the bouncing.