GUTS ! does he really have to tell us about his guts ?
This is clearly a
good year for surgery. Today I got a little
cyst removed. It was an easy procedure, with local anestethic .. anaest ... anesthe ... Jesus, how does one spell *that* ? OK, with "local painkillers", whew, what a relief.
The only interesting observation I have is that the magic dope that the surgeon squirted into me has a very local effect, which means that I felt all the interesting pulling and pushing as the little disgusting thing was removed from me.
The nearer I can describe it is, imagine someone takes a really long time messing around with some of sort of sticker very thoroughly glued to you. But the sticker does not come off, since you don't feel the pain normally associated with that.
So now my belly, on the left, is decorated by some stitches, carefully hidden under an Iowa-sized gauze pad. The scar will be a nice counterbalance to the gallbladder scars, which are obviously on the right.
... writing as a hog on ice
Obviously, in the last sentence, is not meant as an offence or an insult to people that happen to have their internal organs rightside left and leftside right, that's to say inverted. I have
no desire to offend you, even if you are a
freak and ought to be in a
circus ... I meant, pursuing a respectable career as a
mobile, temporary-structure based
entertainer.
Speech therapy beckons
Today I had the impression that my normally excellent control of
Italian (my mother tongue), is slowly coming back. I have this
paralizing fear of losing Italian, since my English is ... well, you can see it, I manage to write more or less, but
you should hear my accent ! And my
Spanish is OK, but definitely not great. Serviceable, useful, but not pleasant. Not even to me.
Family: the old and the new scars
I had a good chat with my mother, probably the person I miss more in Mexico. My father is probably preparing some
big serious father speech, which he will deliver the day before I leave - I am already
armoring myself for the impact.
My sister seems happy with her boyfriend, which is good. He is OK, maybe not extremely exciting nor terribly amusing, but he is OK. I guess it is a good thing that we brothers are not really asked for our opinion about possible
in-laws.
Italy has not really changed
... which could be good news. Things are more or less as they were two years ago. People still watch really bad
TV, and practice even worse
politics. The country is obsessed with
food,
fashion,
money,
cellular phones, women's
butts and
art.
Nihil novi sub sole, and a pale sun it is.
What do I want to do with my life
Well, dear fellow noders, I still have not solved this one. Circumstances will take me back to
Mexico -
circumstances under the guise of a
job, a
girlfriend and even, funny as it may sound, a
return ticket.
But do I really
want to stay there ? Or is it just good old
inertia plus adaptability that keeps me in
Mexico City ?
I feel a general disquiet. But I suck at introspection, which means that I cannot find the reasons for it. I try thought experiments, but they do not really work.
Plus,
I don't want to be a bastard, but I feel like acting like one
But I have my own precious little fucking cheap happiness to protect
And I feel like a rat just contemplating hideous possible actions
Ok, I admit to a certain degree of confusion. I can only hope the night brings clarity.