This write up will most likely appeal to readers who live along the east and southern coasts of the United States or somewhere just inside of it. For those of you who are lucky enough to live in an area not prone to hurricanes please feel free to move on.
With Hurricane Sandy about to make landfall on the Eastern seaboard of the United States I thought it might be interesting to take a glimpse on how to survive one of those monsters should it come bearing down on your neck of the woods or knocking on your front door.
First, depending on your point of view a hurricane is either one of those so-called acts of God that the almighty has unleashed in order to show his wrath at the alleged sinners amongst us or just natures way off letting off a little steam.
Either way, it’s a pretty significant reminder to us humans about just how insignificant we really are.
Pop Quiz
You’ve received notice that a large hurricane is bearing down on you, what should you do?
A) Board up the windows and doors and stick it out
B) Stock up on supplies such as
gasoline and food stuffs and stick it out
C) Both A and B
D)
Get the hell out of Dodge
The correct answer is D, “Get the hell out of Dodge.” I don’t care how brave or crazy you think you are, hurricanes are not to be trifled with. By staying in its path you are either mocking whatever God you pray to or trying to defy the laws of nature. This is especially true if you own some nice coastal property with a gorgeous beach house. Depending on its location or proximity to the shoreline your vacation home has a high degree of probability that it will be washed out to sea with your sorry ass in it. So pack up your most cherished belongings, grab your spouse and kids, put Fido or Snowball in a cage and jump in your car and get the hell out of town.
If you answered "D", good for you. The rest of this write up is unnecessary.
For those of you who answered A, B or C, please read on.
For those of you who answered A only please heed the following advice. Glass is pretty safe when it’s sitting there minding its own business and being its usual stationary self. However, when trees and other forms of debris are whipping through the air it becomes something else entirely. By needlessly putting yourself in the path of the hurricane and hence the glass you are assuming an inordinate amount of risk of being torn to shreds by thousand of shards of glass. In order to avoid this unpleasantness you should board up any windows or doors with plywood. It’s also not a bad idea to do this even if you plan on evacuating the premises anyway. This will help to minimize the damage that might occur anyway even though your sorry ass has left. Of course, all of this is moot if the ocean decides to take matters into its own hand and the house is swept out to sea.
For those of you who answered B please bear in mind that hurricanes also tend towards power outages. For some strange reason sustained winds in excess of 100 miles per hour have been known to wreak havoc on the power lines that we have come to rely on as a normal part of our lives. Be prepared to spend long nights shivering in the nooks and crannies of your homes without any lights or electricity unless of course you have flashlights and an endless supply of batteries. Unless you have your own personal generator that means no television or any other creature comforts you’ve grown accustomed to. The roads that lead to your paradise will most likely be flooded so forget jumping into your car and heading off to the local Motel 6. You’ve made your bed, now you must lie in it.
The following assumes that you are not one of so-called survivalists and already have a bunch of these items in your own private stash.
Since you’re stuck there with no power you’ll need to make the best of it. This usually entails a trip to the local grocery store a couple of days beforehand. Stock up on any canned goods (don’t forget a manual can opener!) such as tuna fish, or beans and weenies. In a perfect world, you should get your hands on anything that doesn’t need to be cooked or heated up. It’s pretty hard to hold a backyard barbecue when rain is lashing sideways and the ocean is coming in through your front door. I’d recommend you stock up on ice and plenty of it. Depending on circumstances help might not be on the way for up to a week or so and since the air conditioning no longer works it’d be a good idea to try and keep cool. Many hurricanes will also play games with your water supply so forget about taking showers, flushing the toilet or bathing for the foreseeable future.
Load up on as much bottled water as you can.
Note: Many proprietors of local businesses have been known to jack up prices on these basic human necessities so the earlier you get to the store the better.
If you answered any combination of A, B and C all I can say is good luck to you.
There’s probably a shit ton of other things that you should do in order to safely survive a hurricane. The goal of this write up wasn’t intended to list them all rather than just a few of the basics that you’ll need to survive.
Of course, the easiest way to survive a hurricane is to live somewhere where they don’t make landfall but sometimes that just might not be practical.
One final thought, to any of our readers or contributors who are in Hurricane Sandy’s path, all I can say is Godspeed to you and yours.