display | more...

Time Travel Log: First Day

It has been an exhausting day my friends (it is I, Behr, i.e. Berhardt Goats, i.e. friend Behr). I used the "quantum leap accelerator" with the help of Chopper and Enrico Fermi (who I rescued from Hades a couple weeks ago and forget to mention) and I went back to 1932 where I had to stop something very tragic from happening in Germany.

You won't remember these events according to Enrico because they have been changed. You won't recall the communist coup in Germany in 1932 that helped created an unbreakable Soviet bloc in Europe. Now, Germany was able to remain independent, but unfortunately some other bad things happened as a result that I am now just reading about. Enrico says that you will remember the replacement events and not the original events. I tried, friends, I really did, but unfortunately a guy the communists executed to 1934 survived and took over Germany and he was a little nuts.

It began with me appearing inside the body and mind of one Dolores Schmidt of Berlin (which is in Germany). She was the lover of German communist leader Adolf Strausser, and after we made passionate love all afternoon, I slit his throat and set off the chain of events that leaped me back to the imaging chamber (now located in Baltimore) where I reviewed the impact of this move with Enrico and Chopper. It was a very dissatisfying result (we agreed on that).

I am going to have to try to be more careful in these leaps because of what Chopper calls the "butterfly effect." Enrico wants to pull the plug on the whole project as he contends the outcome from my messing around in 1938 Berlin to be far worse than the original events. This is notable because America fell under Soviet control in 1958 and that no longer happened and Ike was never publicly executed by Nikita Khrushchev in the Oval Office on Christmas Eve of that year. Nikita was NOT wearing a shirt during this.

Thankfully, that danger has now been averted, but there was the other business.

I promise to be more careful next time.

My friends.