If a lawn chair lifts off with helium balloons
And a man with a cooler sits grinning inside
And the media makes it into cartoons
What do they report when he crashes and dies
Or do they pretend that he landed just fine
And his kids threw a party to celebrate
And his wife just tossed her blond hair aside
And cheerily chastised her charmed reprobate
Laughing all the time as the cameras run
While in real time planning a burial
And dressing herself like a grieving nun
As TV watchers laugh at husband aerial
Untying yourself from the earth for a while
Is serious business and requires steady hands
You need to know how to measure a mile
Straight up and into the vertical lands
For there is a point where you'll start to black out
And there is a time when you'll get far too high
And if you haven't planned an adequate route
The earth will remind you; your enemy's the sky
But back to the tea party occurring on land
Where wife and kids ham it up for digital tapes
As stunt double daddy does what he can
To make sure the show doesn't require second takes