rewind | the suspicion | forward

Although it's not yet medically confirmed, I'm 99.9% sure that I am pregnant again. I'm three weeks late for my period. I should have had it on April 3, 2000. If only I weren't so broke right now that I can't afford an EPT! But, I am pregnant- I just know it.

My husband and I are happy about the prospect of having another child. However, I also feel twinges of sadness and fear. I just had a miscarriage this past July. Words alone fail to fully express the depths of anguish and confusion. Why did that baby die?

Given that my husband is a second generation survivor of Agent Orange Sickness, it is quite likely that the fetus had some serious health problems. Regardless, I can only accept that for whatever reasons, that child was not meant to be.

This time, though... /me smiles.