12:46 PM

I can taste loneliness
It's her bone marrow, chalky and obstinate
I tried to eat the infection, I am not strong enough
Avoiding eye contact with other smokers outside hospital doors
Puddly shoes breathe in Seattle rain slowly
Precipitation is a verb here, it never settles down
Almost like cancer

 

Saltiness

I can taste loneliness
Sitting on your windowsill eating your tongue
The liar I sever by teeth (the tongue's sibling) tastes of hurt
But even a quivering liar left unpunished leaves only doubts
And I gratefully chew away at this salty, bloody serving of doubt
                I wish you could just live honestly and yes, I wish I could too
                In fact I think it's my turn--where did I put the scissors?

 

Winter Fall

I can taste loneliness
Crushed under all seven of my years of clumsiness
Excited to see your car pulling in, yes, but
Today over eagerness has only served me
A stumble-tumble, a faceful of snow and embarrassment
You pick me up without a word, brush me off, always
Cold and rosy grins can pretend it never happened

 

Branded

I can taste loneliness
It's not the scotch or the semen, it's something else
Carefully rising in the back of my mouth
Ah, now I can place it! the taste of my fiancé's aftershave
From kissing his neck on my way out the door
It burns just enough to remind Hyde of Jekyll
The slow burn of conscience: subtle, possible to ignore

 

Car Garage Island

I can taste loneliness
Motor oil and pickup rust and steel guitar strings
I got drunk once and I've stayed that way
A toothless grin, a toothless dance, I am my own celebration
Two chords and bootstompin ain't enough to set you free but
I like to call it loneliness when I'm doin it right
Never been happier

 

September & December, 2012