Twenty years ago brilliant sunshine illuminated my mother's kitchen
as I wondered where the rest of my family was. Historically I haven't gotten along with my mother. My dad
was the parent I admired but she was there so I asked her where he was.
I was sure I hadn't heard her correctly when she told me that my father
had taken the rest of my siblings swimming. Unlike my mother who my
father treated poorly I hadn't been left behind
before. Two weekends ago I came home to an empty place. Work had been
stressful that day but I was looking forward to spending an afternoon
with the girls. It was almost nine o'clock at night when they informed me that there had been attending a party at my
father-in-law's.
When people ask why I'm pursuing a legal separation it's events like
being cut out of dinner and parties that I want to share. My body is separate from my mind when I
interact with people I can't connect with. That's my coping mechanism,
my oasis in the desert of rejection. As a woman I need love and emotional support. Living here
seems like one of the hardest things I've gone through. Just like some
of my characters struggle to find meaning in my life while mapping out
a life plan I've made plans of my own. My future depends on what I do
today therefore I hope, I plan, I write and
I keep on dreaming because the only thing standing between me and where
I want to be is time and perseverance.