In
1975,
Brummie comedian and Folk nerd
Jasper Carrott released the single
Funky Moped, produced by
ELO's lead singer
Jeff Lynne. The single was a smash hit, mainly due to its
B-side, a parody of the popular kid's show,
The Magic Roundabout.
Here are the lyrics
(if you can call them that). They were later re-printed in Carrott's book
Sweet And Sour Labrador:
"Hello children. It s a quarter to six. Time today. for Magic Roundabout..."
"I wonder where Florence is?", said Dougal.
"I m over here.", said Florence.
"Hello, Florence.", said Dougal.
"Hello, Dougal.", said Florence.
"Boing!"
"Hello, Florence and Dougal.", said Zebedee.
"Hello, Zebedee.", said Dougal and Florence.
"Hello, Zebedee, Florence and Dougal.", said Dylan.
"Hello, Dylan.", said Zebedee, Florence and Dougal.
"I say,", said Dylan.
"What?", said Dougal.
"Booinngg!"
"Pardon?", said Zebedee.
"Nothing.", Said Dougal.
"I wasn't talking to you.", said Zebedee.
"Oh.", Said Dougal.
"Dylan.", said Dougal.
"Yes.", said Dylan.
"I wonder if Florence is a virgin?"
"Drops 'em for certain.", said Dylan.
"Booinngg!"
"That's right enough.", said Zebedee.
"How do you know?", said Dylan.
"Booinngg!"
"To my knowledge half of Toytown knows of her horizontal pleasures. Let's face it, Noddy's the biggest ram round here and he reckons he's scored.", said Zebedee.
"I can hear you.", said Florence. "It s not true. Noddy and I are just good friends."
"Rubbish", said Dougal. "It s all over the canteen. Anyone knows about you, you brazen hussy."
"You lousy old flea-bag", said Florence. "Call yourself a dog? I've seen better hair on a lavatory brush!."
"Booinngg!!"
"Now look here", said Zebedee. "Things are getting out of hand. Let's get back to the story-line!."
"It's a crummy story anyway", said Dylan stubbornly.
"Booinngg!"
"No, it's not", said Zebedee commandingly.
"Who cares?", said Dylan dejectedly.
"Well, I like it", said Florence, hopefully.
"Ihat's obvious!", said everybody, cockily.
"Booinngg!"
"Now look", said Zebedee, "let's try and get it together."
"Well, I'm not working for that fat-bat any more", said Dougal. "I'm off to join the Flowerpot men."
"Good riddance", said Florence.
"Knickers!", said Dougal.
"Ihat's no way to talk to a lady", said Dylan (knowing he's on to a good thing).
"Some lady!", said Dougal.
"Oh, piss off", said Dylan.
And Dougal did so, all over Florence.
"Thank you for sticking up for me", said Florence.
"Oh, it's nothing, really", said Dylan.
"You know I've fancied you for a long time", said Florence.
"I've fancied you too", said Dylan.
"Where do we go from here?", said Florence.
"Booinngg!!!"