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What can I get for you? What do you need? (person)
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Sat Jan 20 2001 at 7:58:51
he says, quietly, and I am shot through with six truths,
a snowflake immobilized
.
One.
A yearbook photo, grainy, blurred
, he is on a stage looking only at his guitar. So much younger but already as serious. No one was watching him that day; he stood in the back; the
lead singer
was blonde and had
such a sweet face
. Really I do not remember who magnetized my own attention that day. I have to wonder how many times I missed his further face.
Two.
Hands
with many layers of new and old grime. Grease comes off easily enough with the right solution. Then there are the finer stubborner particles that grind themselves down into the whorls and creases of every finger. Under it all is flesh that has flexed and broken and turned to something
stronger
than it used to be. I don't just mean calluses I mean practiced easy strength plus a blind knowledge of how to hold any tool, firmly,
smooth quick motions without error
.
Three.
Nothing better than a man who loves this book, and this one, and oh this whole shelf full, and can tell you
why
and would like you to love them too and sends you home with an armload.
Call me and tell me what you think. I want to know.
Read them fast. Call me soon.
Four.
He is telling me about something that happened to him in high school and I break in with
Why didn't you call me?
and it is a dumb thing to say but really, all week it has been us us us, Let's go to this movie. Ok. There's a new restaurant down the block.
Let's go.
His voice on the phone and I am already putting on my coat.
Hasn't it always been like this?
Five.
He drinks too much milk. He does not like Bjork. It's laughable that these are my hurdles. No, it's cruel.
Here, he's 99.44% perfect. Don't touch.
Six.
Let me see if I understand this. You were obsessed with the Dukes of Hazaard, too? You used to covet the vacuumcleaner hovercraft in the back of
Boys' Life
, too? You trashed your dad's sportscar? You used to blow stuff up and watch
Smoky and the Bandit
over and over and over and read everything by
Gary Paulsen
you could get your hands on and as we reveal these things to each other I can see your delight forgetting to hide itself and, worse, I am open, grinning, reflecting your delight in all this and we are leaning in and we just can't, I have to go, good night,
I will be glad, but not really, for the cold air inside my car.
All of this strung together inside me on a delicate electric web.
All of me conducting. I had not realized I was so finely wired. I had not realized.
That's me inside your head
I hope someday you will realize how amazing you are
It did not but, I think.. it will spill hope
You will not remember me at all
You say you want to help me
Gary Paulsen
forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past
Vital Signs I
All of this strung together inside me on a delicate electric web.
Six good men who listened
red onion
Pascal's Wager -- Devil-worshipers edition
THE IRON NODER CHALLENGE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
Forgiveness is a double-edged sword
What makes her so cute?
See You Then
I have morphed into the drab colors that surround me
November 2, 2009
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