What a lovely day after a full five days of rain. The air is super crisp and the sun is shining. The hills around us are all blanketed in fresh white snow. The birds seem to be happy to be back out. A beautiful red tailed hawk just flew by me as I sit here on my patio. I just got back from an hour walk along the wash. The water is still rushing down and everything smells so clean. It is so refreshing to see all the people out on the bike trail. A young son with his dad just went by and he is laughing. My walk was good. The air was cool in my lungs and my legs seemed light as feathers for most of the way. For awhile my heart was light. Upon my return the heaviness crept back in, but it is lighter then when I left.
I am still left with wonder of where I am to go. It is scary knowing that I could have no place to live in just a couple of weeks. Hayley and Aggie left today on their new adventure. They have already settled into their new home. I long to be settled. Long in the deepest sense. I am alone. Alone to figure this all out. I am not doing such a good job at it either. I know what I want and where I want to be. But am I wanted? That is the lingering question.
There is so much beauty in the world. So much to share and do. Time to take a deep breath and get out there again. Time to focus on that bit of light at the end of the tunnel. I will keep praying. Praying for my faith to return. Praying for my hearts desire to come true. There is still a glimmer of hope...that's got to count for something.