I had this crazy dream last night. About you and me. It was our wedding day, we were so excited and happy. All our friends were there, and our relatives. It was a wondrous time. In the dream, our lives were shiny.
There was wine, there was food. For some reason, G. Gordon Liddy was there. The punch bowl tipped over. Don’t worry, he said. I’ll clean that up.
He scrubbed and scrubbed, I said, blot. Don’t rub. It’ll stay there forever that way.
Little lady, he said, I can make blood come out of a turnip. I know what I’m doing. So I let it go; I had to, you see. G. Gordon Liddy kept rubbing the stain. Made a scratching sound. I woke up. It was 2:33.
The scratching sound was Snowball, my cat. He does that so I’ll get out of bed. I closed my eyes and Snowball kept scratching. I picked up a shoe. I threw it in Snowball’s direction.
Oh, he said, you want me to stop? Okay, I’ll stop. When your fat ass gets out of that bed. I need something to eat.
Then Snowball turned into Christopher Lee, so this was still part of the dream. I closed my eyes again, I think, and you and I were in a church. It was filled with doves. James Brown was singing “Cold Sweat”. He reached in his pocket. Threw down some sand. He had on those ankle-high boots like he wore, and James Brown started to dance.
Those boots made a scratching sound in the sand. I woke up, I think. It was 4:39.
Snowball, I said, for the love of Christ.
It’s not that I miss you. Don’t get that idea. I have crazy dreams like that all the time.
Like you’re here, and we’re happy. Life is shiny and wondrous. Like I never sent you away.
It’s been almost two years. Sometimes at night I can still hear him scratching. The ashes are here in a pretty clay urn. On the nightstand right by my bed.
I let you go. I had to, you see; you were in so much pain at the end.