Dee's at work right now.
That seems to be the way of things lately, always somewhere. A couple
weeks ago I was really hurting when I thought of her. Last
week, I was just calm. Now I just feel a little sad at the
loss, at the separation. She has a whole 'nother world and
life separate from me an mine. And, sometimes loving her is like watching
a drama on tv. It is well written and the characters are all
interesting and well acted. You cry at the sad parts, and laugh at the funny,
but no matter what, you won't be seeing any of them any time soon.
I am somehow viewer and participant in this life of hers, thankful
for the part I play, but wishing the writers would
put me in more scenes.
Three little words from her can bring me smiles for the
rest of the day. A chat with her makes work pass so much faster. But words
on a screen, voices over wires, these things can only go so far. Why is
it that a physical distance can make such a difference? Is it the looks
she gives me? Is it my hunger for physical contact?
Maybe hearing her ramble on about her life...Why, when I can feel
her thoughts and emotions from here, why does being close to her mean so
much?
What magic lies in the closeness of a lover? What inherent
need is filled by their presence? And how long can a person survive its offering
along with its absence? One year, two? Only time will
tell.