(Lights out on OMP, up on mainstage, which is set with ROSE’S BEDROOM. A vanity is set stage left, a bed stage right. ROSE is dry-eyed, but BRENDA is forcing tissues on her.)
BRENDA:
There you go, honey. Let it out. Cry. Be angry.
ROSE:
I don’t think I’m angry.
BRENDA:
Then get angry.
ROSE:
Maybe it was nothing. Maybe I just didn’t hold out for long enough.
BRENDA:
You were there for half an hour. That’s plenty long enough.
ROSE:
But what if it wasn’t and I -
BRENDA:
It was. He stood you up.
ROSE: (A few tears.)
I know.
BRENDA:
What a jerk.
ROSE:
What a jerk. Still, though. We can get over this. It’s just a… a speed bump.
BRENDA:
Just a speed bump? He didn’t even bother calling you. He doesn’t care about you. He’s too busy with himself.
ROSE:
I don’t believe that.
BRENDA:
Rose. What’s your favorite song?
ROSE:
It's that old Etta James song. At Last.
BRENDA:
Does he know that?
ROSE:
I don’t know.
BRENDA:
He doesn’t. I guarantee it. He’s too self-obsessed.
ROSE:
No, not George.
BRENDA:
Yes George. This is the man who alphabetizes his shoes.
ROSE:
It doesn’t take him that long. He only owns three pairs.
BRENDA:
This is the man who takes longer than you to get ready in the morning.
ROSE:
I really don’t take that long.
BRENDA:
This is the man who takes longer than me in the morning.
ROSE:
Oh-okay, you’re right. (Cries.) Oh, why couldn’t I see that he was such a… a jerk?
BRENDA:
I don’t know, honey. I tried to tell you.
ROSE:
But still. He seemed so nice.
BRENDA:
Be afraid of the nice ones.
ROSE:
But then who can I trust?
BRENDA:
Trust people like me. Open jerks. At least we’re not trying to hide anything.
ROSE:
Agh. (Beat.) He's such a jerk!
BRENDA: (Standing her up, in the middle of the room.)
Come on, let it out. What is he?
ROSE:
A JERK!
BRENDA: (Playing the nasty drill sergeant role.)
WHAT?
ROSE:
A JERK!
BRENDA:
NOT ANGRY ENOUGH!
ROSE:
AN ASSHOLE!
BRENDA:
THERE we go!
ROSE: (Transitions back to just being sad, collapses on her bed, sighs.) I can’t believe he’s such a jerk.
BRENDA:
I tried to warn you, honey. He was never right for you. Just remember Auntie Brenda’s special advice: Don’t trust the nice ones. They’re either faking it or trying to sell you something.
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