It was October. Cold. I was seventeen, and my heart was on fire.
The first day I ever skipped school. Well, to be truthful, I didn't skip school. I lied my way out midway through it. Being a senior, attending school seemed unimportant in comparison to doing things like determining what university I wanted to attend, and hanging out with my friends who go to college.
I was sick, and my friend suggested we get some coffee. Nothing like convenience store coffee. If you burn your tongue on the first drink, it doesn't taste bad, just warm.
We had time to kill, and she needed to go pick up a pack of her "bitch cigarettes", so we walked to a gas station, and didn't need to provide proof that we'd circled the sun more than eighteen times. She quickly lit up, but I passed, and kept changing sides as we walked, because I couldn't stand to have the smell of smoke on me back then.
We talked about boys, mostly. Then we ran into one that she might have been dating, or maybe that was later, or earlier, and I don't really remember.
A smoke was suggested. And he pulled out a pack of these beauties, and of course I was intrigued. They were well into their smokes before I got up the courage to mumble the "Hey man, can I bum a smoke?" line that I became quite adept at delivering.
I fumbled a bit taking it from him, and pushed it a bit too far into my mouth. It was sweet, not what I expected from a cigarette. I couldn't get the lighter to work, so he "monkeyfucked" my cancer stick while I looked at my feet. And smoke filled my lungs.
I coughed. I coughed like a little bitch. It was my first time. But it tasted... nice, in a certain way. And then I felt that glorious nicotine buzz.
And I loved it. I didn't have proper smoking ettiquette, they laughed at how funny it was to see a new smoker. They had to go to classes before I was done, so I was left wandering around campus , puffing on a black cigarette, wearing that ridiculous overcoat I have such a fondness for.
I started munching on a piece of gum, and licking my lips. They were sweet. Delectable.
I wondered how anything that seemed so wonderful could be so bad for me.